Comments on: Somebody Please Help Mother Of Lesbian Daughter

By: mel

mel — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:07:23 +0000

As the grandparent, it is killing me to see what this is doing to my daughter. I guess from the old shcool you hid it and pretend but now everything is out in the open. I know it is Pride, also the dreams of walking her down the aisle etc. But life goes on and times change. I don t have the words to comfort my daughter, I keep saying better than a sickness, it could be worst, she is a beautiful girl, smart and good. Now she want s to make it legal and have a wedding. Please let me know if you went thru this and how you handled it. Grandmom

By: Emma

Emma — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:04:12 +0000

yes again just to clarify amongst all the bullshit.

PEOPLE DO NOT CHOOSE TO BE GAY.

YOU CANNOT ‘TURN’ GAY FOR SOMEONE

‘GAY’ AND ‘LESBIAN’ ARE NOT THE ONLY TWO SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS - BISEXUALS DO EXIST YOU KNOW

YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE ‘UN-GAY’

as much praying as you’re going to do, it’s not going to ungay-ify someone.

if God did exist, why would he/she/it make people homosexual if he/she/it disapproved of it.

can you imagine what it must feel like to come out about something like this?

my mother is a practised catholic, and disowned me when she found out i was bisexual. that was 2 years ago.

i didnt make myself like girls. i just do. i also like guys, but i happen to like girls more. i dislike the way most guys treat girls and what disregard they have for morality, all they think about is sex and getting drunk and smoking. so, my natural gesture is to find girls more appealing.

and that’s fine with me. they are so much better kissers than guys as well (Y)

so all you parents out there who feel sick because the child you birthed out with your genes in it turned out to be gay or bisexual.

cope with it. deal with it.

By: Susan

Susan — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:21:55 +0000

I just found out that my step daughter, 17, is bi. Her father refuses to discuss it saying it is just a phase and she will grow out of it. I know she wont. She is leaning towards lesbianism right now and her mother is openly gay. Her father has visions of walking her down the aisle to her dream man, he may be walking her to her dream woman. I can accept this but he can’t. It really hurts me that he cannot accept this part of his daughter’s life and we cannot talk about it when he is at home. This world can be harsh and if you find someone to love who loves you back, what can be sweeter? To all of you narrow minded overly religous zealots with closed minds, LIGHTEN UP AND ACCEPT YOUR CHILDREN FOR WHO THEY ARE! You loved them at birth and they haven’t changed emotionally since then. They have just come to realize their own definition of sexuality. OOOHHH, I just said the nasty word! LOL

By: Tay

Tay — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:14:22 +0000

I’m 16 years old, a Junior in highschool. I love to sing, I’m an avid reader and writer, and I have many friends at school.

I’m also lesbian.

After reading through the original post and many of the subsequent responses, I’ve got to say that I’m a little bit surprised.

I was raised from the start to be accepting and tolerant of all people, whether they were a different nationality, religious, or gay. Just because somebody is different doesn’t mean that they’re not a fully cognizant, emotional human being. Many people after reading such a diverse splurge of responses said that they felt sick. But I don’t feel sick at all.

I feel sad.

I’ll tell you right now, from a child’s standpoint, that coming out is incredibly difficult. In fact, simply acknowledging to myself that I was gay was at least a full year process. Even now I struggle with it, and if I didn’t have my friend’s and parent’s support, I’m not sure where I’d be. As hard as it is for you to cope with, imagine how much MORE difficult it must be for your child to know that his or her parents hate them? I understand that many of you believe that your refusal to accept their sexual preference is an act of love, not hate. But I challenge anyone to tell me how alienating your child is anything but destructive? How can rejecting your own child be an act of love?

The truth is, you don’t dislike your child being gay because you love them and have their best interests at heart. You hate who they are because you’re afraid. And that’s very sad. It’s very sad that your own inability to cope will lead to the inevitable harm of the child you love so much. I wish I could take away your prejudices and your spite, so that you could see how much damage you’re doing. But I can’t make you understand. I can’t make you be a good parent.

Only you can do that.

By: Violet

Violet — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:01:28 +0000

This is sickening and scary. Reading of all the parents who can’t love their children the same way as before. I myself am a daughter and gay, yet to come out.
I really hope that my parents won’t react that way. I think I’d die if they did.

By: Michele

Michele — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:32:43 +0000

Just a month ago I found out that my son was gay. And for two years he said he was in love with this girl and they were dating. I never suspected my husband did for years but never told me his feelings. But our son just came out and said it. As I was in the middle of cooking and my daughter had a friend over for the night. It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. I couldn’t respond and all’s I said was that nice I love you. But then we had to tell my husband. he took it very well. But it felt like the child I knew for 15 years died and another person came to be. I love my son with all that I have. And I don’t have no problem what so ever with him being gay. But the next bomb he dropped just after he came out that he and is in love very distance cousin our in love with one another. Then I fell to the floor. And the he is a 23 year old man. We tried to explain to him that it isn’t right. And then we told him he wouldn’t be able to see him no more. He was so upset we thought he would take his life so we had him over to discuss our concerns. But they love one another and I can’t change that. We called a laywer asking what the laws are and it is legal. So the best thing that any parent could do is be there love them because if we judge who are they going to turn to when society still can’t except that they just like anyone of us but the difference is that it is the same sex. They to have a right to love and be loved. And they shouldn’t have to hide it because society and the church say it is wrong. Come on everyone it is 2008. I’m proud of my son and that will never ever change. It is hard for us but get over it. Because it is going to be harder for them for the rest of there lives. Support your kid’s don’t judge. Because they need there family for support

By: Marge

Marge — Thu, 29 May 2008 23:37:45 +0000

I can relate to most of the people in this site. I’ve been going thru the same thing. I pray, I talk to myself and nothing is working for me. I know that time will help me understand my daughter but somethimes I feel that I will always feel this way. There’s days when I am in denial and there’s days when I think I’m ok with her being the way she is. I am really confuse about the whole situation. I don’t want to hurt her so i stay quiet about my own personal struggle. I do love her but it’s true what they say “Love Hurts” I know that some people feel that we as parents are the hipocrites becuse we should love our child unconditionally but it’s hard sometimes. We shouldn’t judge or be judge. Please tell me it will get better????

By: Harry

Harry — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:51:46 +0000

Dear Sue.
Because it isn’t the norm, We’ve always heard the negative comments.. I have a worker at my home right now, all he talks about is , Gay this, Gay that, the Lesbians etc. ect. Of course he has no idea that our daughter just recently told us she is gay.. He will never be capable of fathoming what a parent goes thru until and unless it happens in his family. If he knew my situation, he would probably never forgive himself for his insensitive comments. He is also a friend of mine. He sees the man that I am and just assumes that I couldn’t possibly have a gay child. It is actually amusing now.. I really hear the negativity now that I am forced to be a part of that where I am now the parent of a gay child. Life will be so much harder on the kids of today that are gay. On the up side, they will have much better educational backgrounds and family support than we would of had if we told our parents we were gay. I am sure if it were me my father would have thrown me out after he beat me up. He thew me out when I announced that I was getting married … to a woman!! It will get easier as time goes on. Like you said.. It could be worse… much worse… You still have your son. He will not change how much he loves his Mom. Don’t change how much you love him. Hang in there. It’s tough, real tough.. But you will be fine.

By: Sue

Sue — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:41:25 +0000

All of our stories seem similar and in that maybe we can find comfort. I just found out my son is gay and am devastated for many reasons. First and foremost, I am a catholic and worry about my acceptance in my church (sounds ridiculous doesn’t it). Secondly, I do not understand homosexuality and am not sure I want to. I feel sick, depressed, heartbroken, ashameed, guilty. I haven’t spoke to him about this in about a week, however, I have been talking to him like normal. Being around him sometimes makes it easier because I know he is the same person, but sometimes he seems “gayer” to me and that hurts my heart like you wouldn’t believe. I have always known this in the bottom of my heart and have feared this. I asked him before but finally asked him again hoping to hear one answer and got something that I knew but hearing it didn’t make it easier. I have cried for about 2 weeks now, though not as much. The thought of him with another man makes me physically ill, and I know that is terrible to say. I feel like I am in mourning and now live in a different world. I look at people differently, always wondering (even hoping) that they are gay - kind of a safety in numbers thing. He does not have partner right now and claims he never did, which kind of makes this harder for me - like I have some false hope this may change. I find that I am obsessed with this, it consumes my everything thought day and night. I try to think of it as his life and I wouldn’t want him to life an unhappy life, but I just can’t understand how this makes him happy. I know it could be worse - like your child could be killed in a a car accident, have a fatal disease, drug problem, etc. What I do not understand is that what is consistent is that we ALL say our children are wonderful, caring, exceptional human beings - they just happen to like same sex relationships. Why is this so hard for us to accept.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Sun, 18 May 2008 19:30:26 +0000

Harry,

So familiar a story. I too am a Vietnam era vet and have a son and daughter from my ex, who brainwased them. I have remarried and have helped my wife raise her 3 sons and daughter from her ex. All are grown axcept the youngest son. I am bisexual, my wife knows and has no problem, and I told her years ago I think our daughter is gay. She later realized it too, and a year ago when our daughter started seeing a guy she knew for years even her brothers all said “I thought she was gay.” She has since broken up with him. Their father was very abusive to their mom and rejected the 4 of them when that divorce was final. Our daughter told her mom she is having problems because of that. She hasn’t said anything to us about being gay, but we also think she is afraid of being rejected by her brothers. We haven’t asked her if she is yet. I found this site while looking for help in broaching the subject with her. We don’t want to tell her I’m bisexual, which leaves us with the problem of letting her know that we really do understand and love her no matter what.
Similarities, my ex ignored a court order for visitation to the point I went to court to have it enforced. Somehow, I ended up walking out of court with less visitation time on paper than I went in with. On the rare occasion I happen to see my daughter all I get is hatred, and still have not seen my son in about ten years. I know, I feel and I share your pain over the lost children. I’ve told my wife several times that what my ex did should be considered exactly what it is, child abuse, and she should be held accountable.

Glenn