Comments on: Should A Lesbian Choose Her Family Over Her Partner? http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner Help For Parents Of Gay Children Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:33:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 By: Natalie http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-57616 Natalie Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:37:18 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-57616 I couldn't read all of the responses, because there are so many of them and I don't have that much time, so I'm sorry if I'm only repeating what someone else said. Here is my advice. The only way to happiness is your own way. If your parents don't accept you being gay, then so be it. I know, sounds pretty harsh and cold, doesn't it? But that's what love should be: accepting and embracing people even if they have "flaws" or do or feel things we don't agree with. The first step I advise you to take, is to talk to a professional about the cutting. I used to do that too and although stopping for a loved one is a great way to start stopping altogether, it might not be enough. The second step is: try to talk to your parents one last time about all this. you can also put all your thoughts in a letter, if that works for you. Tell your father you're sorry that what he dreamed for you might work out different in reality, but also point out that all he ever dreamed for you is to be happy, no? So the definition of happiness might be a bit different, the picture is more pink-coloured then they expected the day they brought you home from the hospital and all that, but happiness is still a possibility. I'm pretty sure that you too had to readjust the future you saw for yourself over time. We all believe we're gonna marry a nice man and get kids and a dog, untill we realise that our future is more likely to have a woman in our bed, an appointment with the gynaecologist to get pregnant and haveing to stand up or run from people who condemn our lifestyle. What i'm trying to say is, you too had to let go of some given facts, and you took the time for that. Give him time too. When it comes to your mother, it gets more difficult. I don't know how your relationship is with her in general, but I find it hard to believe that a normal, loving mother could really shut her daughter out like that. She said it, I believe that. And she acts on it as well, but inside she misses you, she feels pain, she is angry and upset with the world and doesn't know what to do. Maybe she blames herself? Maybe she believes it's a choice and wonders why you would 'choose' this? I don't know. Whatever it is, try to get communication going. If she completely refuses that, there is only one question to ask yourself... Do you want to live a lie? Never think that you have to make a choice between your parents and your partner. It doesn't work that way. you are making a choice between your parents wishes for you and your own wishes for yourself. you're not choosing your partner over them, you're choosing a life in truth over a life in lies. You have to look at it this way, because otherwise you might one day throw in her face that "you left your familiy for her and now look what she is doing to you". Since your parents are your financial support, you might have to butter them up a bit. try to lie as little as possible: if you visit your gf, who cares if you lie about that. I know it hurts, but what will you gain by being honest and ending up in debt or out on the streets. If they are satisfied with you not talking about the subject anymore, then just do that. If you have to tell them you're single, then do that. Try to find that thin line, where you've lied just enough to keep them calm. I know it's not going to be easy. But make sure you get your degree, and when you are able to work again, save as much money as you can, so you can get out of there as soon as possible. I wish you all the best. I fought the same battle and I know how hard it can be, but one day you'll look back on it and see how strong you've become. Maybe its a good idea to go to some LBGT-meetings and get some new friends too. Maybe you'll find a nice boy there who needs a fake gf to cover up his homosexuality for his parents ;) And if not, you'll finally have a group of friends where you can say: "damn, did anyone see that girl??" Lots of love! Natalie I couldn’t read all of the responses, because there are so many of them and I don’t have that much time, so I’m sorry if I’m only repeating what someone else said. Here is my advice. The only way to happiness is your own way. If your parents don’t accept you being gay, then so be it. I know, sounds pretty harsh and cold, doesn’t it? But that’s what love should be: accepting and embracing people even if they have “flaws” or do or feel things we don’t agree with.

The first step I advise you to take, is to talk to a professional about the cutting. I used to do that too and although stopping for a loved one is a great way to start stopping altogether, it might not be enough.

The second step is: try to talk to your parents one last time about all this. you can also put all your thoughts in a letter, if that works for you. Tell your father you’re sorry that what he dreamed for you might work out different in reality, but also point out that all he ever dreamed for you is to be happy, no? So the definition of happiness might be a bit different, the picture is more pink-coloured then they expected the day they brought you home from the hospital and all that, but happiness is still a possibility.
I’m pretty sure that you too had to readjust the future you saw for yourself over time. We all believe we’re gonna marry a nice man and get kids and a dog, untill we realise that our future is more likely to have a woman in our bed, an appointment with the gynaecologist to get pregnant and haveing to stand up or run from people who condemn our lifestyle.
What i’m trying to say is, you too had to let go of some given facts, and you took the time for that. Give him time too.

When it comes to your mother, it gets more difficult. I don’t know how your relationship is with her in general, but I find it hard to believe that a normal, loving mother could really shut her daughter out like that. She said it, I believe that. And she acts on it as well, but inside she misses you, she feels pain, she is angry and upset with the world and doesn’t know what to do. Maybe she blames herself? Maybe she believes it’s a choice and wonders why you would ‘choose’ this? I don’t know. Whatever it is, try to get communication going. If she completely refuses that, there is only one question to ask yourself…

Do you want to live a lie?
Never think that you have to make a choice between your parents and your partner. It doesn’t work that way. you are making a choice between your parents wishes for you and your own wishes for yourself. you’re not choosing your partner over them, you’re choosing a life in truth over a life in lies.
You have to look at it this way, because otherwise you might one day throw in her face that “you left your familiy for her and now look what she is doing to you”.

Since your parents are your financial support, you might have to butter them up a bit. try to lie as little as possible: if you visit your gf, who cares if you lie about that. I know it hurts, but what will you gain by being honest and ending up in debt or out on the streets. If they are satisfied with you not talking about the subject anymore, then just do that. If you have to tell them you’re single, then do that. Try to find that thin line, where you’ve lied just enough to keep them calm.
I know it’s not going to be easy. But make sure you get your degree, and when you are able to work again, save as much money as you can, so you can get out of there as soon as possible.

I wish you all the best. I fought the same battle and I know how hard it can be, but one day you’ll look back on it and see how strong you’ve become. Maybe its a good idea to go to some LBGT-meetings and get some new friends too. Maybe you’ll find a nice boy there who needs a fake gf to cover up his homosexuality for his parents ;) And if not, you’ll finally have a group of friends where you can say: “damn, did anyone see that girl??”

Lots of love!
Natalie

]]> By: another mother http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-56188 another mother Sat, 08 Oct 2011 08:25:11 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-56188 I agree with the poster above who gave you advice from the mother's point of view. When our babies are born, we dont automatically say "this one is gay, this one is straight". Society conditions us to believe that our children will be straight and marry an opposite sex partner. Whether they have children, or not, is their choice. We don't expect our daughters to go to bed with someone else's daughter, or our sons to go to bed with someone else's son. It's a shock, even if all the "typical" signs were present. To alot of parents, it's a slap in the face. Especially parents who are religious, and cared enough to raise you to mind your manners, get good grades, attend church, etc. Here is the "weird" part. My former husband, and still my BEST friend, is gay. We have 3 children together. My views changed when I saw the heartbreak on his face when he chose to leave us to live his "real" life. His parents don't accept it, and never will. It's their loss. They have a wonderful, loving son who is a devoted father and an excellent person. Their bigotry cost them their relationship with him. I agree with the poster above who gave you advice from the mother’s point of view.

When our babies are born, we dont automatically say “this one is gay, this one is straight”. Society conditions us to believe that our children will be straight and marry an opposite sex partner. Whether they have children, or not, is their choice.

We don’t expect our daughters to go to bed with someone else’s daughter, or our sons to go to bed with someone else’s son. It’s a shock, even if all the “typical” signs were present. To alot of parents, it’s a slap in the face. Especially parents who are religious, and cared enough to raise you to mind your manners, get good grades, attend church, etc.

Here is the “weird” part.

My former husband, and still my BEST friend, is gay. We have 3 children together. My views changed when I saw the heartbreak on his face when he chose to leave us to live his “real” life. His parents don’t accept it, and never will. It’s their loss. They have a wonderful, loving son who is a devoted father and an excellent person. Their bigotry cost them their relationship with him.

]]> By: another mother http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-56187 another mother Sat, 08 Oct 2011 08:25:05 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-56187 I agree with the poster above who gave you advice from the mother's point of view. When our babies are born, we dont automatically say "this one is gay, this one is straight". Society conditions us to believe that our children will be straight and marry an opposite sex partner. Whether they have children, or not, is their choice. We don't expect our daughters to go to bed with someone else's daughter, or our sons to go to bed with someone else's son. It's a shock, even if all the "typical" signs were present. To alot of parents, it's a slap in the face. Especially parents who are religious, and cared enough to raise you to mind your manners, get good grades, attend church, etc. Here is the "weird" part. My former husband, and still my BEST friend, is gay. We have 3 children together. My views changed when I saw the heartbreak on his face when he chose to leave us to live his "real" life. His parents don't accept it, and never will. It's their loss. They have a wonderful, loving son who is a devoted father and an excellent person. Their bigotry cost them their relationship with him. I agree with the poster above who gave you advice from the mother’s point of view.

When our babies are born, we dont automatically say “this one is gay, this one is straight”. Society conditions us to believe that our children will be straight and marry an opposite sex partner. Whether they have children, or not, is their choice.

We don’t expect our daughters to go to bed with someone else’s daughter, or our sons to go to bed with someone else’s son. It’s a shock, even if all the “typical” signs were present. To alot of parents, it’s a slap in the face. Especially parents who are religious, and cared enough to raise you to mind your manners, get good grades, attend church, etc.

Here is the “weird” part.

My former husband, and still my BEST friend, is gay. We have 3 children together. My views changed when I saw the heartbreak on his face when he chose to leave us to live his “real” life. His parents don’t accept it, and never will. It’s their loss. They have a wonderful, loving son who is a devoted father and an excellent person. Their bigotry cost them their relationship with him.

]]> By: sandu http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-55321 sandu Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:04:28 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-55321 i am in a serious relation with my girl.but, now the prblm is that our families came to know abt our relation.they r not ok wth our relation..they want us to be seperated..my mother is even not allowing me to wear jeans,as they think that this restriction will change my mind to a girl..i cant leave her..her parents are trying to get her married, just after completion of our course..there is only five months for that.im frm india,im 17 and she is 18..i cant live without her love...also i dont want to see both our mothers' tears..i am in a big trouble..she said that she will even die to stop this marriage..i am also concerned abt her situation..even if we r in same institution i am not allowed to talk to her as all our lecturers & friends know abt us..its so tough to stay without talking to her even if she is near to me..she is staying in the same hostel...i am thinking abt changing my hostel..i cant see her pain...its like my heart is bleeding, even if i already gave it to my sweetheart,i dont know wat to do?help me pls,shud i leave her or liv with her or die together? i am in a serious relation with my girl.but, now the prblm is that our families came to know abt our relation.they r not ok wth our relation..they want us to be seperated..my mother is even not allowing me to wear jeans,as they think that this restriction will change my mind to a girl..i cant leave her..her parents are trying to get her married, just after completion of our course..there is only five months for that.im frm india,im 17 and she is 18..i cant live without her love…also i dont want to see both our mothers’ tears..i am in a big trouble..she said that she will even die to stop this marriage..i am also concerned abt her situation..even if we r in same institution i am not allowed to talk to her as all our lecturers & friends know abt us..its so tough to stay without talking to her even if she is near to me..she is staying in the same hostel…i am thinking abt changing my hostel..i cant see her pain…its like my heart is bleeding, even if i already gave it to my sweetheart,i dont know wat to do?help me pls,shud i leave her or liv with her or die together?

]]> By: Libby http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-39814 Libby Sat, 03 Sep 2011 23:36:54 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-39814 Im a 15 year old girl and i just had my one month anniversary with my very first girlfriend & within this month we decided to tell our close friends and our families. Our friends are quite judgemental & make comments & everytime we hug around them they pull faces and stuff which is making my girlfriend really angry. My parents dont care really, but we dont talk bout it much and my gfs hate the idea but her mum is trying to be as understanding as possible because my gf is sick with cancer. Gooodluck xx Im a 15 year old girl and i just had my one month anniversary with my very first girlfriend & within this month we decided to tell our close friends and our families. Our friends are quite judgemental & make comments & everytime we hug around them they pull faces and stuff which is making my girlfriend really angry. My parents dont care really, but we dont talk bout it much and my gfs hate the idea but her mum is trying to be as understanding as possible because my gf is sick with cancer. Gooodluck xx

]]> By: Holden http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-34645 Holden Tue, 23 Aug 2011 08:28:12 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-34645 My girlfriend is currently going through the same thing you are, I feel so sad and selfish because I feel that am the cause of this and that without me, she would be ok, I don't know if I should leave her or stay with her, all I know is that I love her with all my heart and just want her to be happy, even if that happiness is in a world without me. Am sorry for not being to give you advice, but I hope it helps you to hear how your partner probably feels, know that she loves you, that she cares for you, that like your parents she onlu wants what she thinks it's best for you. Fight but don't fight for her, fight for yourself, cause she could probably have many other partners, but your mother only has one daughter. My girlfriend is currently going through the same thing you are, I feel so sad and selfish because I feel that am the cause of this and that without me, she would be ok, I don’t know if I should leave her or stay with her, all I know is that I love her with all my heart and just want her to be happy, even if that happiness is in a world without me. Am sorry for not being to give you advice, but I hope it helps you to hear how your partner probably feels, know that she loves you, that she cares for you, that like your parents she onlu wants what she thinks it’s best for you.

Fight but don’t fight for her, fight for yourself, cause she could probably have many other partners, but your mother only has one daughter.

]]> By: Becki http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-34229 Becki Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:00:39 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-34229 I just don't understand how people cannot just accept sexual orientation!! I am 14 and in a 7 month relationship with a girl that I just couldn't live without. After about two months of being together, we decided to come out to our friends (we had previously been best friends so my friends were the same as hers) They didn't take it seriously at first, but after a couple of weeks they got used to it and there were no problems and everything was going fine. About a month after that I came out to my mum, who replied "I know" with a big grin on her face, my mum has a nack for working things out by herself. We both decided we would wait before telling my girlfriends dad because he is Christian and she wasn't sure how he would take it. Slowly her family started finding out, it had been fine because they didn't mind much. Eventually, her dad found out. That's when the problems started, he kept her away from me with silly little excuses like she had seen too much of me already, or he would just ignore her when she asked him something and change the subject. He's too ashamed to talk about it too. Me and my girlfriend have talked many times about breaking up, just to make it easier for everyone, but we just can't, we love eachother too much. That's what matters. My advice to everyone is just to keep things steady and not change anything until you are old enough to live your life the way you want it; after all, it's your life. I just don’t understand how people cannot just accept sexual orientation!!
I am 14 and in a 7 month relationship with a girl that I just couldn’t live without. After about two months of being together, we decided to come out to our friends (we had previously been best friends so my friends were the same as hers) They didn’t take it seriously at first, but after a couple of weeks they got used to it and there were no problems and everything was going fine. About a month after that I came out to my mum, who replied “I know” with a big grin on her face, my mum has a nack for working things out by herself. We both decided we would wait before telling my girlfriends dad because he is Christian and she wasn’t sure how he would take it. Slowly her family started finding out, it had been fine because they didn’t mind much.
Eventually, her dad found out. That’s when the problems started, he kept her away from me with silly little excuses like she had seen too much of me already, or he would just ignore her when she asked him something and change the subject. He’s too ashamed to talk about it too. Me and my girlfriend have talked many times about breaking up, just to make it easier for everyone, but we just can’t, we love eachother too much. That’s what matters.
My advice to everyone is just to keep things steady and not change anything until you are old enough to live your life the way you want it; after all, it’s your life.

]]> By: Val http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-32930 Val Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:36:01 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-32930 I'm pretty much going through the SAME thing as well. However, I haven't told my mom about it yet! I have been dating *Mii BABE!* for over 5 months now. We've had mutual feelings for almost 3 years but never really admitted it. & when she did ask me out? She was like "Out of 3 years, I FINALLY have you!" It gave me a GREAT feeling when she said that. :) We've had tough times but our relationship is still going STRONG! I've never really thought of bein' in such relationship & my bestiies were like OMG! when I told em' about it. But then, afterwards, they understood so did my sisters! Mii BABE & I are INSEPARABLE! :) I can't go through a day without talkin' to her on the phone or seein' each other! She's the one that puts me to sleep every night. I LOVE the way she makes me feel and I can't imagine my WORLD without her. She knows what I like and how I like it! The thing that really gets to me is how PATIENT Mii BABE is about letting my mom know. She tells me that she's been ready to let my mom know but is waiting on me to tell her that "I'm Ready!". She says once I say that to her; she'll be there for me in a heartbeat to tell my mom about US no matter what goes down! ;) I'm just worried how my mom will react on this. The LAST THING I would want to do is to give my mom a heart-attack. So, really its up to me to decide but somethings holding me back. Uggggh! ---> i HATE DIS' PART! But we'll just give it time. :) STACEY ---> I wish you & yours all the BEST of luck in the world! My advice is to just give it time. Since, your parents know about it already, let it be! They'll learn to deal with it sometime. Just be you and keep it kool, EVERYTHINGS gonna be okay! Don't let anything or anyone get in the way of you & yours! :) I’m pretty much going through the SAME thing as well. However, I haven’t told my mom about it yet! I have been dating *Mii BABE!* for over 5 months now. We’ve had mutual feelings for almost 3 years but never really admitted it. & when she did ask me out? She was like “Out of 3 years, I FINALLY have you!” It gave me a GREAT feeling when she said that. :) We’ve had tough times but our relationship is still going STRONG! I’ve never really thought of bein’ in such relationship & my bestiies were like OMG! when I told em’ about it. But then, afterwards, they understood so did my sisters! Mii BABE & I are INSEPARABLE! :) I can’t go through a day without talkin’ to her on the phone or seein’ each other! She’s the one that puts me to sleep every night. I LOVE the way she makes me feel and I can’t imagine my WORLD without her. She knows what I like and how I like it! The thing that really gets to me is how PATIENT Mii BABE is about letting my mom know. She tells me that she’s been ready to let my mom know but is waiting on me to tell her that “I’m Ready!”. She says once I say that to her; she’ll be there for me in a heartbeat to tell my mom about US no matter what goes down! ;) I’m just worried how my mom will react on this. The LAST THING I would want to do is to give my mom a heart-attack. So, really its up to me to decide but somethings holding me back. Uggggh! —> i HATE DIS’ PART! But we’ll just give it time. :)

STACEY —> I wish you & yours all the BEST of luck in the world! My advice is to just give it time. Since, your parents know about it already, let it be! They’ll learn to deal with it sometime. Just be you and keep it kool, EVERYTHINGS gonna be okay! Don’t let anything or anyone get in the way of you & yours! :)

]]> By: A Mom http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-32733 A Mom Sun, 14 Aug 2011 18:41:10 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-32733 You need to try to understand this from your mom's point of view. I have a daughter that is gay. She expects understanding out the wazoo from me, yet, gives me none. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a mom and having a family, that came true when she was born. You need to understand that a gay lifestyle is not what any parent has in mind for their children. It is a total shock to the system and understanding is needed on this end too. When your world is shattered, your heart broken and your way of thinking has to be totally reversed, don't you think this deserves a little time, patience and understanding? I don't get you kids who think there is something wrong with parents when they don't just immediately step up to the plate and bend over backwards for a gay child. It's a shock and something that as to be dealt with delicately and over time. These things don't come overnight. I would never in a million years turn my back on my daughter, I love her more than life and am very proud of her and what she has accomplished in life. Am I comfortable being in the company of her friend? Absolutely not, I cannot even look her in the eye. I make no excuses for myself, that's just the way it is. You need to try to understand this from your mom’s point of view. I have a daughter that is gay. She expects understanding out the wazoo from me, yet, gives me none. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a mom and having a family, that came true when she was born. You need to understand that a gay lifestyle is not what any parent has in mind for their children. It is a total shock to the system and understanding is needed on this end too. When your world is shattered, your heart broken and your way of thinking has to be totally reversed, don’t you think this deserves a little time, patience and understanding? I don’t get you kids who think there is something wrong with parents when they don’t just immediately step up to the plate and bend over backwards for a gay child. It’s a shock and something that as to be dealt with delicately and over time. These things don’t come overnight. I would never in a million years turn my back on my daughter, I love her more than life and am very proud of her and what she has accomplished in life. Am I comfortable being in the company of her friend? Absolutely not, I cannot even look her in the eye. I make no excuses for myself, that’s just the way it is.

]]> By: Leanna http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner/comment-page-1#comment-22818 Leanna Wed, 11 May 2011 22:47:57 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/should-a-lesbian-choose-her-family-over-her-partner#comment-22818 hi Stacey, I'm not sure what advice to give you since I'm in the same position. I'm 19 and I have always known that I was bisexual. I hadn't ever told my family on the fear of being rejected but recently my mom found out because i accidentally left my facebook up and she read my messages to my girlfriend. I am so in love with my girlfriend but my parents aren't accepting of it at all and threaten to tell her parents if it doesn't stop. so i have been lying ever since and telling them that nothing is going on between us anymore. I am so ready to move out but they are my financial support. i hate living at home where I'm always getting emotional and verbal abuse about being gay. i cant stand being around my parents, especially my mom. she told me recently that she rather have cancer than me be gay. I couldn't help but cry on that comment. My mom has told me and my brother before that she would love us the same even if we were gay but i really don't think she thought it would happen. With my mom finding out and threatening to tell her parents, has put me and my girlfriends relationship on edge. My girlfriend says she loves me too and i mean the world to her and i suggested that she should tell her parents about us but she said that they will disown her. She is also a Christian like me but is always thinking that being gay is a sin. she said she would come out if her religion wasn't stopping her. It's really difficult because i want to be happy and i don't care if i'm with a man or a woman. I think I am being really stupid with letting this relationship go on and let her drag me along knowing that it wont ever be more than us being together behind closed doors, but I'm so in love with her that i cant help but let it happen. it is killing me and i have nobody to talk to besides our friends, who are straight and think this is an experiment. I'm starting to feel like maybe this is only an experiment for my girlfriend because i cant get her to really commit and think about out future together. i know how you feel about your girlfriend and i believe if your family really loves you then they can learn to accept it one day. if you have any comments i would really appreciate it. hi Stacey, I’m not sure what advice to give you since I’m in the same position. I’m 19 and I have always known that I was bisexual. I hadn’t ever told my family on the fear of being rejected but recently my mom found out because i accidentally left my facebook up and she read my messages to my girlfriend. I am so in love with my girlfriend but my parents aren’t accepting of it at all and threaten to tell her parents if it doesn’t stop. so i have been lying ever since and telling them that nothing is going on between us anymore. I am so ready to move out but they are my financial support. i hate living at home where I’m always getting emotional and verbal abuse about being gay. i cant stand being around my parents, especially my mom. she told me recently that she rather have cancer than me be gay. I couldn’t help but cry on that comment.
My mom has told me and my brother before that she would love us the same even if we were gay but i really don’t think she thought it would happen. With my mom finding out and threatening to tell her parents, has put me and my girlfriends relationship on edge. My girlfriend says she loves me too and i mean the world to her and i suggested that she should tell her parents about us but she said that they will disown her. She is also a Christian like me but is always thinking that being gay is a sin. she said she would come out if her religion wasn’t stopping her. It’s really difficult because i want to be happy and i don’t care if i’m with a man or a woman.
I think I am being really stupid with letting this relationship go on and let her drag me along knowing that it wont ever be more than us being together behind closed doors, but I’m so in love with her that i cant help but let it happen. it is killing me and i have nobody to talk to besides our friends, who are straight and think this is an experiment. I’m starting to feel like maybe this is only an experiment for my girlfriend because i cant get her to really commit and think about out future together.
i know how you feel about your girlfriend and i believe if your family really loves you then they can learn to accept it one day. if you have any comments i would really appreciate it.

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