Gay Family Support Blog

Hello,My name’s Daniel
I live in Bulgaria(Europe) with my mother,little brother and grandmother..My dad works in another town(thank god)…. My mum has a hard time because dad doesn’t send money and her job pays bad…and she doesn’t need more troubles with finding out….about me….anyways…she has enough problems with me and thats why i am concerned and have a “short fuse” with anybody and…in short i changed 4 schools in 1 season and my grades are very low…but you probably want a story…

well i cannot tell you a masterpiece i can just tell you how the view of the world is through the eyes a 15 years old,teenage homosexual boy…well i’ll just get to the point…it is very hard..because not many boys share his…interests…and he is feeling alone and isolated…even with his parents support he is alone…he cannot tell other people even if he wants it very much because most people doesn’t understand difference and will probably make fun of him and even sometimes it gets to violence…

any  parent knowing of his son orientation should make his life be more comfortable…i mean…make him feel normal…not just saying “i understand you and etc.”…you should make him happy…maybe go out somewhere where he wants from a long time…or suggest camping with a neighbourhood family which has a son his age…he will be pleased trust me!

But no way,in no condition do not have a conversation with him about homosexual people..it will just upset him.It’s simple..homosexual people have more in touch with their emotional side…if you say “you are an idiot,i don’t know why i let you live here(or something from this sort)” he will be very upset although he doesn’t show it…he will probably lock up in his room and be devastated,sometimes even cry.

You see his interests  until the age of 15 are simple…just to talk with another boy but to be most open…to tell his feelings and what are his desires and etc..when he reaches the age of 14-15 (puberty) of course he would want to have some physical contact with a person from the same sex…maybe a kiss or to touch his face,chest and some other body parts.of course of the age of 15-16 he will have some sexual desires but gay boys that age are too afraid to have intimate relations with another boy…on the ago of 16-17 he is more willing and can control his body and acts like a normal boy and you can hardly notice he is homosexual..on the age of 18 and above his only intimate wish is to have a night alone with a boy..what they will do is a secret(i’m not that old LOL)…

A homosexual boy accepts everything with ease,because he understants difference.mostly they feel miserable until they find their “buddy”.
Also you should look for their relationship with their brother/sister..just because they are gay doesn’t mean their relations should be TRASH…try to keep the warm ..make family dinners or send them to both to do a “important job” or sent them to camping…their relations are very important because he is a child after all and he cannot share everything with elders…he needs someone his age that way he feels more…understood…well i have to go now training is calling..hope you read and reply…

Regards,Daniel
Bulgaria,Europe

PS:Sorry for the bad spelling and punctuation my formal language is Bulgarian…

Hi, I am the mother of a lesbian. I found out when my daughter was around 13 y/o. I found a letter between her and her girlfriend. I read it and it sounded like a boyfriend girlfriend letter. I didn’t confront her about it. I pretended I never found it. Then the other girls mother found out about the relationship and was furious. She called me. I acted like it was new news.

I had to discourage my daughter from seeing her girlfriend. Their relationship was also abusive. The girl would scream at my daughter on the phone. My daughter was cutting herself. I took her to a Psychologist and she was put on an antidepressant.
 
That was all a long time ago. My daughter is now almost 18. I had hopes that this was just a phase and that she would end up being heterosexual. The girlfriend ended up being heterosexual. My daughter is still on a antidepressant. I have told my daughter that I love her no matter what. I do wish this was not happening. I want her to have a normal life.

I do not condone her being gay but I do not treat her badly or am negative about it. She knows that if I could change things I would. We have a Christian home and my husband, not her father, is extremely religious. He doesn’t say anything to her about being gay. He does not approve though. I am not sure of my feelings.

If people are born gay which I am starting to believe then how can they be condemned for it. The religious stand point is that people may have gay desires but they need to not act on these desires and live a life of abstinence or become heterosexual. For me to think of my daughter being alone for the rest of her life kills me. I want her to be happy and have a loving long term relationship. So I struggle with all this.

My daughter is very bold. She got a rainbow tattoo. She puts rainbow stickers on her car. I wish she would not do this. I think it is better to keep this to herself and only tell those close to her.
I have only told a few people about this. Maybe I am ashamed. I don’t know. It just hurts a lot still. My daughter doesn’t seem to care who knows. I am starting counseling soon and hope to get help with all of this.

Maryann from USA

Hello,
 
My name is Jillian and I am 17 soon to be 18 on December 17th. When i was 9 or 10 I used to put pictures on my bulliten board of celebrity women, for some reason I had an attraction to them. Well when i was 16 I met this girl named Misty in my biology class, we talked for a little bit, and one day the teacher teamed us up for a DNA project. I invited her to my house to work on it. At that moment I knew I liked her, So from that point on we have been dating for the last 19 months now.

Once my mom found out a week after we started dating she called me every name in the book relating to being gay, she called me a Queer and that really offended me. Ever since then my mom reminds me every single day not missing one day at all, how much she really hates “us gay people”. I dont know when my mom will ever except me, but I really am getting tired of her always putting me down and making me cry. She screams at me, and I just dont know what to do, because I just can’t stick up for myself at all. She is afraid to tell all of my other family members afraid of what they would think of “her”. It is always about my mom.

So basically I have to live 2 lives. One to where I have to be “straight” around all my other family members, then the other to where i can just be myself, but I can never do anything right in my moms eyes, she is ashamed of me and “my choices”. she thinks being gay is a choice.
 
Please help me. Please.
Jillian

I am the mother of a gay son who recently turned forty years old.
I’ve known for more than 20 years that my son is gay and have worked to be honest and open with anyone who knows my family.  Like many families, there are those members who are bigoted or just plain refusing to accept someone different than they are.

In an effort to help people understand that gay people are more like the rest of us than they realize, I’ve written a novel entitled Hallowed Illusions.  It’s a story of a young man who, while sick, has a series of dreams about a beautiful woman.  His grandfather, a retired fundamentalist minister, is ecstatic and enthusiastic. It’s likely a sign from God that young Phillip should give up his sinning ways and settle down with a wife.

Problems arise when Phillip discovers the woman in his dreams died a mysterious death sixty years before and that she knew Pastor and grandmother Abby very well.

I’ve worked hard to give Phillip characteristics that are true to most men in general and, for the most part, to give him a loving family. The Las Vegas, NV PFLAG chapter notified its members of the book’s release and my book signing, which was held in late January 2007.  If you would be willing to let your members know that there is a book out there that identifies gay and lesbian people in a warm light, I would appreciate it. 

I may be an optimist, but I feel that the more people who realize gay and lesbian people are no different than anyone else, the sooner the rights of gay and lesbian people will be protected. I’ve read the mission, vision, and strategic goals of PFLAG and feel that my book will contribute to those things.

Because I think it is so very important for all people to understand that people in same sex relationships deserve all the rights that heterosexuals have, I have placed a link to PFLAG on my web site.  I want to mention, too, that my author email address (DonnaMQuick@hotmail) is on my book cover for anyone who would like to correspond through that avenue.

Thank you so much for your consideration in getting out the word about Hallowed Illusions.

Sincerely,

Donna M. Quick
enjoy my website at www.DonnaMQuick.com

Hi Debbie,
My name is Denise and I just found out that my 22 year old daughter (Cyndee) is a lesbian. I flat out asked her to get the awkwardness over and done with. In my heart I know I have always known. My daughter is a wonderful woman. She is going to college on a soccer scholarship. She  graduates next year with 2 bachelor degrees. She has always been a honest wonderful person. I have always been so proud of her. I will always be proud of her for being true to herself and happiness.

Her partner (Molly) is also a wonderful person. I really am looking forward to having her in our life. I told my daughter that if her brother brought her home I would say “excellent choice” so why wouldn’t I say that because she brought her home. I am so looking forward to sharing this part of my daughters life.  I am so happy that she has found someone that she can share her life with and be happy.
 
I have always been a very open minded person and have all kinds of friends. I enjoy colorful,  independent, and true to their self people.
There is not a bone in my body that is upset about her choice.
In fact two weeks ago when she and Molly were over for a visit and I walked them out to say goodbye. I walked back in the house and said “what a nice looking couple” and I shook my head and said “did you really just say that”?

That’s when it hit me and I laughed out loud. Then I said should I worry about saving my wedding dress? When I told my daughter these thoughts that went through my mind we laughed together and she told me not to rule the dress out. I told her she’s right if she don’t wear it maybe Molly will. All that matters to me is her happiness.
My question is, Is it normal to be this happy? LOL!

My girl friend Debi, who is also a lesbian said I was a great mom, stop thinking and enjoy my daughter life.
There are other family members that will not be happy.
The protective mother in me wants to protect her & Molly.
How do I handle these situations?
I can have a sharp tongue , but I would like to handle it so everyone involved does not feel uncomfortable.

I look forward to hearing from you and let me say thank you now for your answers.

Thanks Again,
Denise Millang