Comments on: Never Thought She Was Gay http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay Help For Parents Of Gay Children Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:50:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: J http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-626 J Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:50:22 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-626 I am a daughter who is fortunate to have the love and support of both of my parents. This didn't happen over night - it took awhile. It took me awhile to admit to myself that I was gay, so I know that it will take time for my parents. I'm just so glad I don't have to live a double life, and hide what makes me happy, to my parents. I dreaded calling or coming home from college, because I turned into someone that I wasn't. I'm 26 now, and my parents have known for almost two years. My relationship with both of them has progressed so much, and they are my best friend. With the generation gap - I'm not expecting them to "get it." I'm just glad they are accepting of it. I am a daughter who is fortunate to have the love and support of both of my parents. This didn’t happen over night - it took awhile.
It took me awhile to admit to myself that I was gay, so I know that it will take time for my parents. I’m just so glad I don’t have to live a double life, and hide what makes me happy, to my parents. I dreaded calling or coming home from college, because I turned into someone that I wasn’t. I’m 26 now, and my parents have known for almost two years. My relationship with both of them has progressed so much, and they are my best friend.
With the generation gap - I’m not expecting them to “get it.” I’m just glad they are accepting of it.

]]> By: denise http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-581 denise Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:14:49 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-581 I cried myself to sleep again last night because my heart is shattered over what my daughter has told me. I am a very accepting and open minded person but this by far a lot harder than I could have imagined. I am glad to know I am not alone. I cried myself to sleep again last night because my heart is shattered over what my daughter has told me. I am a very accepting and open minded person but this by far a lot harder than I could have imagined. I am glad to know I am not alone.

]]> By: Patty http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-567 Patty Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:50:51 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-567 What is RIGHT? Let your child make that choice. And that would be there choice of what makes "Them" Happy at that paticular time in there life. I belive that is whats BEST. Just be there, Be Understanding,and dont Judge her. Having being Blessed with the most precious gift of all. I too have a Gay Daughter! Who is 18, We are very close. She let me know at the age of14.She is a very Smart,Intelligent and has a heart of gold at such a young age. However with that bein said the Bottom Line is I LOVE MY DAUGHTER and her sexuality is HER choice she made. I LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY NO MATTER WHAT. What is RIGHT? Let your child make that choice. And that would be there choice of what makes “Them” Happy at that paticular time in there life. I belive that is whats BEST. Just be there, Be Understanding,and dont Judge her. Having being Blessed with the most precious gift of all. I too have a Gay Daughter! Who is 18, We are very close. She let me know at the age of14.She is a very Smart,Intelligent and has a heart of gold at such a young age. However with that bein said the Bottom Line is I LOVE MY DAUGHTER and her sexuality is HER choice she made. I LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY NO MATTER WHAT.

]]> By: deb http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-338 deb Sat, 01 Sep 2007 03:58:29 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-338 To everyone on this blog, my heart feels heavy for everyone. I, too, am dealing with the emotions of what my daughter feels is her truth. I tell her I love her no matter what, but the distance is growing wider between us. I mourn for what was to be a future filled with family gatherings, grand children, and the whole illusion that she would be filled with happiness in her adulthood. Her childhood was terrible. I chose to divorce her father because he was never around for us and because I was too stupid to know how to turn things around for us. He remarried and his new wife had a son from previous marriage. This son sexually abused my daughter and is now serving time in prison because we ....or rather I insisted on pressing charges. Now my daughter is in a relationship with a girl. Says she's always felt strong feelings towards certain girl friends over the years. I don't know if this is truly who she is or if this is fallout from the abuse. I know I've failed her over the years, but I love her so much and feel that every day I lose her little by little. I want her to be happy, but giving my blessing on this doesn't feel right. She's just turning 17. Her counselor says I shouldn't rock the boat or I will lose her. These young adults making such serious life choices, facing such hard reactions from people who they will deal with daily for the rest of their lives. I have no clue what to do. I feel so ill equipped with all of this. All I know is that I still love her with all my heart and want to do what's best for her! But I don't have the foggiest idea what is best. Any words of wisdom from anyone who sees a light at the end of the tunnel? It's getting pretty dark here. To everyone on this blog, my heart feels heavy for everyone. I, too, am dealing with the emotions of what my daughter feels is her truth.

I tell her I love her no matter what, but the distance is growing wider between us. I mourn for what was to be a future filled with family gatherings, grand children, and the whole illusion that she would be filled with happiness in her adulthood.

Her childhood was terrible. I chose to divorce her father because he was never around for us and because I was too stupid to know how to turn things around for us.

He remarried and his new wife had a son from previous marriage. This son sexually abused my daughter and is now serving time in prison because we ….or rather I insisted on pressing charges.

Now my daughter is in a relationship with a girl. Says she’s always felt strong feelings towards certain girl friends over the years.

I don’t know if this is truly who she is or if this is fallout from the abuse. I know I’ve failed her over the years, but I love her so much and feel that every day I lose her little by little.

I want her to be happy, but giving my blessing on this doesn’t feel right. She’s just turning 17. Her counselor says I shouldn’t rock the boat or I will lose her.

These young adults making such serious life choices, facing such hard reactions from people who they will deal with daily for the rest of their lives.

I have no clue what to do. I feel so ill equipped with all of this. All I know is that I still love her with all my heart and want to do what’s best for her! But I don’t have the foggiest idea what is best.

Any words of wisdom from anyone who sees a light at the end of the tunnel? It’s getting pretty dark here.

]]> By: Tammy http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-208 Tammy Sun, 05 Aug 2007 01:18:52 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-208 I am crying after reading Lisa's response. That is so me. I have been going through so many emotions since my daughter has been making me aware that she is a lesbian. It just so breaks my heart. I have went through so many emotions over the last two years but these last months have been so devestating for me. I cry on and off and have periods of depression and of course the blame game on myself. My mom suggested some type of support group for parents of gay children so I have been on the internet looking and found this site, which I'm glad I did, because after reading the two blogs I know that I am not alone. I just want to ask, where do I or us parents go from here? I am crying after reading Lisa’s response. That is so me. I have been going through so many emotions since my daughter has been making me aware that she is a lesbian. It just so breaks my heart. I have went through so many emotions over the last two years but these last months have been so devestating for me. I cry on and off and have periods of depression and of course the blame game on myself. My mom suggested some type of support group for parents of gay children so I have been on the internet looking and found this site, which I’m glad I did, because after reading the two blogs I know that I am not alone. I just want to ask, where do I or us parents go from here?

]]> By: lisa http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-30 lisa Fri, 18 May 2007 13:23:21 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/never-thought-she-was-gay#comment-30 OMG.......i feel like i just read about my life...except for my daughter is an only child. im a lil miss prissy poo and thats what my daughter was supposed to be. lol. but she is not and never has been. she has been a tom boy her whole entire life since kindergarten. i have suspected it for a while but when i would ask her, she would get mad and ask why everyone asks that and she is getting sick of it. well, she finally broke down and told me on mothers day. WOW......what a mothers day i had... we cried all day... she knows i still love her the same no matter what. i keep telling her but now, she feel wierd coming around me. i dont want that. i want her to feel comfortable around me. will it get better? OMG…….i feel like i just read about my life…except for my daughter is an only child.
im a lil miss prissy poo and thats what my daughter was supposed to be. lol. but she is not and never has been. she has been a tom boy her whole entire life since kindergarten. i have suspected it for a while but when i would ask her, she would get mad and ask why everyone asks that and she is getting sick of it. well, she finally broke down and told me on mothers day. WOW……what a mothers day i had…
we cried all day… she knows i still love her the same no matter what. i keep telling her but now, she feel wierd coming around me. i dont want that. i want her to feel comfortable around me. will it get better?

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