The problem with “how do you know??” questions is that they’re impossible to answer. Parents won’t just let you tell them “I just do, same as you know you’re straight!” They tell you you’re shutting yourself in a box, they tell you they wish you would just go find some hot guy to fuck for a month and then see, they tell you you’re too young to know. Anything other than face facts. It’s really heartbreaking to go through this. I tried hard to be as sensitive and empathetic to my parents as possible, but they threw it all back in my face time and time again, and it’s time to strike off on my own. Too bad though, I’m only one semester into college, and probably going to have to drop out next semester. If I’d known this would happen I would have waited til I had graduated, or at least was close.

My mom also asked me if i picked to be gay. my response was almost the same, “mom, did you one day go, oh i think i’ll like men? no, you just did. it’s the same for me”

Unfortunately for my family, I don’t feel the need to experiment with any guys. I feel that is ridiculous and that it is potentially hurtful to the guy I would experiment with. I am not in the business of using people and I will always do what I feel is right. For me, being with a woman feels right in my mind. Communicating this to family is difficult.

I don’t expect it to be easy to accept and I understand why parents would ask this question to their children, but it is frustrating. I have taken the advice of friends and given my parents time this past year to adjust and get used to the idea. We haven’t talked about this in a long time, I’d like to bring it up with them again so I can see where they are and if they have made any progress. I just want them to be okay with my decision to live my life the way I feel is right.

All I can suggest to parents who want to ask this question of thier kids is, please understand that this question is frustrating. I understand the reasons why a parent would ask this, but I think if you ask that question and your child gives an adequate response you should respect their feelings. The problem is that if you continue to ask this question your child will feel like you do not trust them to know themselves and that is not usually the case. I know for me that was the most hurtful thing about that question. My parents had never questioned my judgement on anything and to have them tell me I didn’t know my own feelings was hard to take.

I love and respect my parents though, and even though we don’t agree on this matter I know that with time we will be able to respect each other’s opinions. Good luck to all who are struggling with their child’s sexuality. I am glad to see so many parents actively seeking help to come to terms with their child’s sexuality. It is a step in the right direction, on a path that will be bumpy sometimes, but a path that will lead you to the best result: acceptance.