Comments on: Hard To Accept http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept Help For Parents Of Gay Children Sat, 17 Jul 2010 12:22:22 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Mike http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-7725 Mike Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:01:59 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-7725 In response to Natalie, (JUNE 10th) When I read the disrespectful rubbish that you have written, I feel nothing but pure rage at your ignorance and arrogance towards your situation. I do not even intend to get into the religious debate, but I find it hysterical that even now, in 2010, there still exist such pathetic beliefs. In my opinion we all have one life and we should live it however we see fit. FACT: NO ONE WHO IS GAY, CHOOSES TO BE GAY! This rubbish you speak of people being confused, lost and misguided by the ways of modern society is ridiculous. I CHOOSE to drink alcohol, despite knowing the potential health implications of its consumption. I CHOOSE to not drive my car home after I have been drinking with my friends, but I DO NOT CHOOSE to be hit by a car whilst walking home. Believe it or not some things are out of our hands and sexuality is no different. It is simply one of three things: A). A genetic dispositions handed down through the process of reproduction B). The child life to which we are exposed (role models/ the behaviour and beliefs of influential people around us) OR C). A combination of the pair Given this I put forward the question of whether it is even the matter of your daughter being gay or straight that is the real issue for you? Or is it simply your inability to accept that through one way or another, you are responsible for your daughter’s sexual choice, whether that be through genetics or you parental skills. Furthermore, I question your morals, as a ‘loving Christian mother’ who is unprepared to accept and approve of their daughter based on her sexual orientation. When you look at your daughter is all you see, a Lesbian? An immoral, confused, homosexual or are you sensible enough to see that this is just a aspect of your daughter’s life, which I’m sure is most certainly not all she is. In truth I know that this is nothing more than wasted breath, with you being ‘one of those’ from ‘that generation’ but it just enrages me to think what your daughter would feel like if she read these comments and discovered the front you exhibit in front of her. Regardless of your daughter’s sexuality, she is your daughter and she is a lesbian and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Mike In response to Natalie, (JUNE 10th)

When I read the disrespectful rubbish that you have written, I feel nothing but pure rage at your ignorance and arrogance towards your situation. I do not even intend to get into the religious debate, but I find it hysterical that even now, in 2010, there still exist such pathetic beliefs. In my opinion we all have one life and we should live it however we see fit.

FACT: NO ONE WHO IS GAY, CHOOSES TO BE GAY!

This rubbish you speak of people being confused, lost and misguided by the ways of modern society is ridiculous. I CHOOSE to drink alcohol, despite knowing the potential health implications of its consumption. I CHOOSE to not drive my car home after I have been drinking with my friends, but I DO NOT CHOOSE to be hit by a car whilst walking home.

Believe it or not some things are out of our hands and sexuality is no different. It is simply one of three things:
A). A genetic dispositions handed down through the process of reproduction
B). The child life to which we are exposed (role models/ the behaviour and beliefs of influential people around us)
OR
C). A combination of the pair

Given this I put forward the question of whether it is even the matter of your daughter being gay or straight that is the real issue for you? Or is it simply your inability to accept that through one way or another, you are responsible for your daughter’s sexual choice, whether that be through genetics or you parental skills.

Furthermore, I question your morals, as a ‘loving Christian mother’ who is unprepared to accept and approve of their daughter based on her sexual orientation. When you look at your daughter is all you see, a Lesbian? An immoral, confused, homosexual or are you sensible enough to see that this is just a aspect of your daughter’s life, which I’m sure is most certainly not all she is.

In truth I know that this is nothing more than wasted breath, with you being ‘one of those’ from ‘that generation’ but it just enrages me to think what your daughter would feel like if she read these comments and discovered the front you exhibit in front of her.

Regardless of your daughter’s sexuality, she is your daughter and she is a lesbian and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

Mike

]]> By: sherry http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-7467 sherry Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:05:02 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-7467 I physically feel i need to talk to a doctor, i cant sleep, at all, I am a insist rape survior. I sheltered my kids from any harm,,, and now my son future is going to the toliet..... did evry thing to protect him and hes mentally slow, and just doesnt get, since all these people are telling him bunch of crap..... Me being close to him has now ended I physically feel i need to talk to a doctor, i cant sleep, at all, I am a insist rape survior. I sheltered my kids from any harm,,, and now my son future is going to the toliet….. did evry thing to protect him and hes mentally slow, and just doesnt get, since all these people are telling him bunch of crap….. Me being close to him has now ended

]]> By: sherry http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-7466 sherry Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:58:35 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-7466 I am going through exactly through the same thing with my son age and all but he's also slow, mentally too........I am in despair im depress and have no one to talk to , i cry every night, he lives with me and goes away with his friend for weeks at at time, while im struggling with bills,the reality he does have disabilities being mentally developed......... and really doesnt even get it that the power is going to be shut off. Single mom,,,,,,,,who is alone with out support......... I dont need the preaching of other people views say this is ok, cause my religion says its not..... I know we have gay rights in this country, what about straight rights......... It works both ways don't you think......I was even turned down of a job, cause i wasn't gay...Imagine that...... I am going through exactly through the same thing with my son age and all but he’s also slow, mentally too……..I am in despair im depress and have no one to talk to , i cry every night, he lives with me and goes away with his friend for weeks at at time, while im struggling with bills,the reality he does have disabilities being mentally developed……… and really doesnt even get it that the power is going to be shut off. Single mom,,,,,,,,who is alone with out support……… I dont need the preaching of other people views say this is ok, cause my religion says its not….. I know we have gay rights in this country, what about straight rights……… It works both ways don’t you think……I was even turned down of a job, cause i wasn’t gay…Imagine that……

]]> By: nancy http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-7234 nancy Mon, 28 Jun 2010 04:11:51 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-7234 I too found out about my daughter suposely gay life style, I can not accept it, I will never reconcile it with what I know Jesus is about, I love my daughter but I do not love this deception she is believing from the Devil,, Please pray for her, as I will do for all of you, thank you,NANCY I too found out about my daughter suposely gay life style, I can not accept it, I will never reconcile it with what I know Jesus is about, I love my daughter but I do not love this deception she is believing from the Devil,, Please pray for her, as I will do for all of you, thank you,NANCY

]]> By: Kim http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6964 Kim Thu, 17 Jun 2010 02:32:04 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6964 I found out kind of by accident that my daughter is gay. She was in high school and spent the night over a "friend" house. I found out from the friends mother...then my daughter confirmed it. She is still living at home, but in college. She went to visit a friend and now wants to bring that friend home to meet me and the family. I think she may be bisexual if anything, because she still talks about having a family..having children. I really don't know what to think. I want to talk with her about it, but I'm vrey uncomfortable about the whole thing. I thought the "sex" talk was going to be rough when she was younger...that was easy compared to this. I want her to know that there is nothing that will make me not love her, but Im not dealing with this choice of hers very well. Please Help! I found out kind of by accident that my daughter is gay. She was in high school and spent the night over a “friend” house. I found out from the friends mother…then my daughter confirmed it. She is still living at home, but in college. She went to visit a friend and now wants to bring that friend home to meet me and the family. I think she may be bisexual if anything, because she still talks about having a family..having children. I really don’t know what to think. I want to talk with her about it, but I’m vrey uncomfortable about the whole thing. I thought the “sex” talk was going to be rough when she was younger…that was easy compared to this. I want her to know that there is nothing that will make me not love her, but Im not dealing with this choice of hers very well. Please Help!

]]> By: Natalie http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6790 Natalie Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:07:14 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6790 I wish there was a website where I could find better moral, Christian-based support. I had originally went to PFLAGs website, and it was obvious that they are all about equality and acceptance... and less about morals and values. While I will always love my 20-year-old daughter who came out to us 6 months ago, I will never APPROVE of her lifestyle. I have learned that there is a distinct difference between accepting and approving. I have to ACCEPT the fact that she is an adult making immoral decisions. I will not approve of those decisions. That, of course, is causing a rift in our relationship. We have met her girlfriend (whom she has moved out and is living with since making this life choice) on two separate occasions. She is a very nice girl, just like our daughter. Unfortunately, they are both confused and influenced by a society that says homosexuality is OK. It is NOT OK! Kudos to Abbie who quoted Leviticus. God can't make it any clearer. Homosexuality is WRONG!!! It IS a choice that too many young people are making. We are created in God's image, for His glory. God doesn't make mistakes. We CHOOSE to make mistakes. I wish there was a website where I could find better moral, Christian-based support. I had originally went to PFLAGs website, and it was obvious that they are all about equality and acceptance… and less about morals and values. While I will always love my 20-year-old daughter who came out to us 6 months ago, I will never APPROVE of her lifestyle. I have learned that there is a distinct difference between accepting and approving. I have to ACCEPT the fact that she is an adult making immoral decisions. I will not approve of those decisions. That, of course, is causing a rift in our relationship. We have met her girlfriend (whom she has moved out and is living with since making this life choice) on two separate occasions. She is a very nice girl, just like our daughter. Unfortunately, they are both confused and influenced by a society that says homosexuality is OK. It is NOT OK!

Kudos to Abbie who quoted Leviticus. God can’t make it any clearer. Homosexuality is WRONG!!! It IS a choice that too many young people are making. We are created in God’s image, for His glory. God doesn’t make mistakes. We CHOOSE to make mistakes.

]]> By: Alex http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6657 Alex Fri, 04 Jun 2010 22:52:58 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6657 Dear Sherry, I am gay and im 16 almost 17, I find you completely selfish and ignorant. He's 19 you don't neet to accept his life style if I was 19 I would've left my piece of shit life beside my mother. Everyday she hits me, but not enough to leave a mark because if she did then I would report, she critisizes me, and treats me as if I was an animal. No one desides to be gay! If I had the choice to not be gay I would've chosen it a long time ago. I've gone through so much due to the fact that my mother is a piece of shit. If I would've never told her anything I would've most likely killed myself. You need to realize that by you being selfish and ignorant, you're not helping any one. If you continue your son WILL choose the wrong road don't make the mistakes my mother has made! I KNOW that I am going to make bad decisions due to the fact that my mother makes me want to end my life. Be there for him don't be stupid he's your son! Be his mom! Dear Sherry,

I am gay and im 16 almost 17, I find you completely selfish and ignorant. He’s 19 you don’t neet to accept his life style if I was 19 I would’ve left my piece of shit life beside my mother. Everyday she hits me, but not enough to leave a mark because if she did then I would report, she critisizes me, and treats me as if I was an animal. No one desides to be gay! If I had the choice to not be gay I would’ve chosen it a long time ago. I’ve gone through so much due to the fact that my mother is a piece of shit. If I would’ve never told her anything I would’ve most likely killed myself. You need to realize that by you being selfish and ignorant, you’re not helping any one. If you continue your son WILL choose the wrong road don’t make the mistakes my mother has made! I KNOW that I am going to make bad decisions due to the fact that my mother makes me want to end my life. Be there for him don’t be stupid he’s your son! Be his mom!

]]> By: Unhappy Mum http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6343 Unhappy Mum Mon, 17 May 2010 15:55:57 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6343 Eight months down the line since my daughter told me,things certainly have not got any easier! She is quite open and blatant in many ways about being a lesbian but does not want me to tell my friends etc.! My husband does not want anyone to know but surely everyone can tell!!he is deeply embarrassed about it and won't talk about it at all, we can only row about it really of which we do frequently and now I have just said I don't want to talk about anymore as it is just too upsetting. My daughter has turned into a slut, having fun she calls it, sleeping with whoever she fancies! what a nightmare! A huge gap has come between us although she seems to think all is well, I would not be happy with her bahaviour if she was heterosexual so I just keep quiet and let her get on with it, what a nightmare! I look at parents with babies now and think ****** hell I hope this never happens to you! We have flowers arriving from girlfriends, etc everything that would happen in a normal boy/girl relationship although I suppose this is what happens! She is selfish beyond reason now (always was anyway but worse now, totally self centred) and has also asked us how we plan to spend any money we have!! To that effect we have booked several holidays and I have told her I am buying a new car! What has gone wrong, she was a sweet little girl and started being difficult about 10/11, so many problems at school with bullying etc. and friends and now I can see it was all down to her sexuality. Can't imagine how it took her 10 years to confront it! all it has done is make it ten times worse and cause more problems. The only way I cope and would perhaps LOL advise others is to get on with your own life and switch off! if that's possible. We told her we didn't want any of her "friends" in our house when we went away last month as even she admits she is a very poor judge, so what does she do, bring them into our home while we are away! My husband wants to tell her to move out but I don't think that will help the situation. Our other daughter would not bring people home she had only just met as her friends are longstanding of several years and even she admits she can't understand her sister's logic - she accepts she is a lesbian and is fairly OK with it although wishes she wasn't. The other problem is the constant lying our daughter does, she is incapable of telling anyone the same story twice! unbelieveable, I don't even listen now as it is pointless! The problem I face is I cannot imagine sitting at a table with my daughter and her girlfriend! I personally don't even want to meet them but then i may as well kiss goodbye to my daughter! What an absolute mess our family is now! How I would love to have had a look into the future and foreseen all this and then I could have avoided it! Hindsight is a wonderful thing! Eight months down the line since my daughter told me,things certainly have not got any easier! She is quite open and blatant in many ways about being a lesbian but does not want me to tell my friends etc.! My husband does not want anyone to know but surely everyone can tell!!he is deeply embarrassed about it and won’t talk about it at all, we can only row about it really of which we do frequently and now I have just said I don’t want to talk about anymore as it is just too upsetting. My daughter has turned into a slut, having fun she calls it, sleeping with whoever she fancies! what a nightmare! A huge gap has come between us although she seems to think all is well, I would not be happy with her bahaviour if she was heterosexual so I just keep quiet and let her get on with it, what a nightmare! I look at parents with babies now and think ****** hell I hope this never happens to you! We have flowers arriving from girlfriends, etc everything that would happen in a normal boy/girl relationship although I suppose this is what happens! She is selfish beyond reason now (always was anyway but worse now, totally self centred) and has also asked us how we plan to spend any money we have!! To that effect we have booked several holidays and I have told her I am buying a new car! What has gone wrong, she was a sweet little girl and started being difficult about 10/11, so many problems at school with bullying etc. and friends and now I can see it was all down to her sexuality. Can’t imagine how it took her 10 years to confront it! all it has done is make it ten times worse and cause more problems.
The only way I cope and would perhaps LOL advise others is to get on with your own life and switch off! if that’s possible. We told her we didn’t want any of her “friends” in our house when we went away last month as even she admits she is a very poor judge, so what does she do, bring them into our home while we are away! My husband wants to tell her to move out but I don’t think that will help the situation. Our other daughter would not bring people home she had only just met as her friends are longstanding of several years and even she admits she can’t understand her sister’s logic – she accepts she is a lesbian and is fairly OK with it although wishes she wasn’t. The other problem is the constant lying our daughter does, she is incapable of telling anyone the same story twice! unbelieveable, I don’t even listen now as it is pointless!

The problem I face is I cannot imagine sitting at a table with my daughter and her girlfriend! I personally don’t even want to meet them but then i may as well kiss goodbye to my daughter! What an absolute mess our family is now! How I would love to have had a look into the future and foreseen all this and then I could have avoided it! Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

]]> By: cheryl holz http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6312 cheryl holz Sat, 15 May 2010 10:37:06 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6312 My son who is nearly 18 met a gay man of 26. After the initial shock we accepted it. Of course it was hard. After living with us for nearly 2 weeks he talked my son into leaving home. We have no contact with our son or brother and have no idea what is going on. This bloke controls him. I have ranted, cried and swore. This bloke seemed nice and caring. My son is now gay. I feel so lost. My son who is nearly 18 met a gay man of 26. After the initial shock we accepted it. Of course it was hard. After living with us for nearly 2 weeks he talked my son into leaving home. We have no contact with our son or brother and have no idea what is going on. This bloke controls him. I have ranted, cried and swore. This bloke seemed nice and caring. My son is now gay. I feel so lost.

]]> By: Jewel http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/hard-to-accept/comment-page-1#comment-6275 Jewel Wed, 12 May 2010 23:38:27 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=39#comment-6275 Any parents on here who are wondering why it's hard to accept your gay children, let me tell you why: because you're bigots! If you weren't, acceptance would be a MUCH easier thing. Any parents on here who are wondering why it’s hard to accept your gay children, let me tell you why: because you’re bigots! If you weren’t, acceptance would be a MUCH easier thing.

]]>