Our son came out nine months ago at the age of 26 and it is an afternoon that I never want to go through again. I was not sad from a homophobic perspective, but from a fear of the unknown, of discrimination, of bullying, and at 26 I thought that he had his life sorted. Nobody wants their children to have a life more difficult than it has to be. And on that same afternoon I have never been more proud of my Husband in how he held our son and told him how much we loved him and how there was nothing he could ever do or say that would change our love for him.

Lucille (message above), I felt physical pain for about two weeks and cried off and on for about three months, and I still have my sad teary moments, but it gets better. I wanted my Son back, and bit by bit after talking to him I realised that he was still the same person, in fact I finally realised that what we had was a happier version of our son, happiness that I hadn’t seen in him for a long while.

I did a lot of research during the first couple of weeks and I read a book by Shelley Argent from Brisbane Pflag. The following site will give you lots of really great information, but it was her book ‘Opening the Door, A Mother’s Journey When Her Son Comes Out’, which was invaluable to me over those first few weeks. The link is below to the Brisbane Pflag (Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays) website…

http://www.pflagbrisbane.org.au/resources-multimedia/publications-ebooks

I am currently (Aug 2011) a regular to Canberra (Australia) lobbying MPs on the Gay Marriage issue. This is for me is more about discrimination and equality than anything else, my son may never want to marry, but I am fighting for him (and all Australian gay people) to have the same rights as his/their straight siblings, and that is the right to marry if they so choose. Wish me well and contact your local Federal MP if you agree.

So this is how I’m trying to make my son’s world better.

Being gay is not a choice, it is who they are. Nobody would choose to take the hard road.

My love goes out to all parents and gays who are finding it difficult.

Myself, I know if she came right out and asked me I wouldnt lie to her. However I don’t think I can come right out and tell her. I still have this fear that it will change everything and I’m ready for it…just Im not sure if I am ready for EVERYONE in my family to know. I come from a big family that is very close to extended family. I know many wont acept it do to religon. Im not ready to hear my family to talk bad/against me. I have worked to hard and came so far (believe it or not) to work through the whole christan thing and being gay at the same time. I would have loved to talk to someone about it yet I couldn’t. It would have been much easier to have had help instead of doing it on my own. However I had this box I lived in.

After I worked through that issue, and came to terms YES I was gay I looked for someone to talk to. I most online sites I found didn’t help at all. What I really wanted was a mother (Im a moms boy) that had a gay son to talk to. I wanted to know that there was just ONE other out there that made it out and had a supportive mother. I wanted to ask questions and learn what I should expect and for them to tell me that in the end it would be ok. I needed the support and found nothing like that. Once again I was lost and felt alone. I have had many friends that I have talked to about these issues. They have been there for me when I felt beaten down.

To this day I have yet to tell her. I know she knows, Im not dum lol. Just I can’t find my voice to come out and tell her, I just wish she would ask. Im sure shes just waiting for me to tell her…. Boy aren’t we going somewhere fast lol.

First, I LOVE your blog!!! I just wanted to share something with you that might be of interest. It’s a short film I’ve been working on called “The Maiden and The Princess,” starring David Anders and Julian Sands. It’s about a little girl trying to come to terms with her sexuality amidst a musical fairytale We’re trying to raise money to get the film out there on the festival circuit, and get us through the final stages of post production!

If you could post it on your blog, that would be AMAZING!!!!

Here’s the link to our kickstarter campaign: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1396193475/the-maiden-and-the-princess

Thank you SO much!

Ali Scher

Net; as a female I very much remember puberty and irritation at the laws even though before I had a partner. I don’t think the law should have the final say on a girl’s right to her own body.

What IS important is that she’s not rushing things. I’d suggest you talk to her about that. The important thing to remember is that people take sex differently; is she sure she wants to do this? Is she sure her partner wants to? Are they both doing it for the same reason (e.g. love or fun or experimentation)?

I personally find sex very empowering, but some people regret things and that’s something to watch out for. The law’s input is not as important as those from the brain, hormones (nature’s way of telling you when), and heart.