Comments on: Gay Son Concerns http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns Help For Parents Of Gay Children Tue, 24 Apr 2012 17:36:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jere http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-77495 Jere Mon, 19 Mar 2012 04:21:24 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-77495 I have yet to read everything on your blog or all the comments but I was hoping someone here could help me. My son is 11 and has shown some character of being gay. He has since he was much gouged and while he has not said he likes boys it's the fact that he has mentioned several times he wants to wear a dress , I have allowed him cause he asked to put makeup on me and do my hair. I caught him once with my eyeshadow on last year and I over reacted I was more mad that he used my stuff without asking. I want to support him and let him be him without toouch riticule from the outside! I want him to feel safe at home but I will not allow him to do those things at school. There's too much murder and sucide going on! I want to help him and protect him. I was hoping that terr was a good support group for parents of young kids that I can get connected to as things arise. Any help would be great! Thanks!! I have yet to read everything on your blog or all the comments but I was hoping someone here could help me. My son is 11 and has shown some character of being gay. He has since he was much gouged and while he has not said he likes boys it’s the fact that he has mentioned several times he wants to wear a dress , I have allowed him cause he asked to put makeup on me and do my hair. I caught him once with my eyeshadow on last year and I over reacted I was more mad that he used my stuff without asking. I want to support him and let him be him without toouch riticule from the outside! I want him to feel safe at home but I will not allow him to do those things at school. There’s too much murder and sucide going on! I want to help him and protect him. I was hoping that terr was a good support group for parents of young kids that I can get connected to as things arise. Any help would be great! Thanks!!

]]> By: michelle http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-74489 michelle Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:43:17 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-74489 Hi I too have just found out about my son and I am not coping very well do you know anywhere where you can chat on line to someone thank you Hi I too have just found out about my son and I am not coping very well do you know anywhere where you can chat on line to someone
thank you

]]> By: Christina http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-73816 Christina Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:07:27 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-73816 Kathy, reading your post was like reading my own, our lives are so similar. My 20 year old son has recently split from his girlfriend of 3 years and yes I have had my suspicions for many years that he was bi or gay. He is now seeing a guy and we have just recenly (yesterday) met him. It was a very different experience for us. My husband has been wonderful and even though our son didn't tell his father he did tell me in an around about way but I think I guessed. His older sister and partner have been fantastic and I have decided not to discuss too much with my younger daughter who is 14 but will eventually talk to her about it. We do miss his ex girlfriend terribly and hope that eventually we will be able to see her but my son doesn't want us to have contact with her at the moment. I think they are so confused about their feelings that they stay with their girlfriends I know my son loved this girl but I also think its easier for them and my son did say he felt that he should have a girlfriend get married have kids do the right thing, whatever that is.... He knows now all we want is for him to be happy & safe and I hope by us excepting his life choices he will be. I am having a few problems with my parents though and keep getting comments like "Well he did grow up with 2 girls" or " You put him into dancing when he was younger" Can anyone help me with dealing with this without losing my cool. I hope everything works out for you Kathy I wll be thinking of you & your family Kathy, reading your post was like reading my own, our lives are so similar. My 20 year old son has recently split from his girlfriend of 3 years and yes I have had my suspicions for many years that he was bi or gay. He is now seeing a guy and we have just recenly (yesterday) met him. It was a very different experience for us. My husband has been wonderful and even though our son didn’t tell his father he did tell me in an around about way but I think I guessed. His older sister and partner have been fantastic and I have decided not to discuss too much with my younger daughter who is 14 but will eventually talk to her about it. We do miss his ex girlfriend terribly and hope that eventually we will be able to see her but my son doesn’t want us to have contact with her at the moment. I think they are so confused about their feelings that they stay with their girlfriends I know my son loved this girl but I also think its easier for them and my son did say he felt that he should have a girlfriend get married have kids do the right thing, whatever that is….
He knows now all we want is for him to be happy & safe and I hope by us excepting his life choices he will be.
I am having a few problems with my parents though and keep getting comments like “Well he did grow up with 2 girls” or
” You put him into dancing when he was younger” Can anyone help me with dealing with this without losing my cool.
I hope everything works out for you Kathy I wll be thinking of you & your family

]]> By: gwen http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-72063 gwen Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:46:09 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-72063 My 15 year old "came out " recently-so, is now openly gay/bisexual. I was shocked/stunned at first. Now, I talk with him, thik I will eventually accept it . I love hm. I"ve gotten a lot of help from this blog and pflag-New Orelans-Louisiana. He told me he'd known or kind of known he was gay since he was 12. I had no idea honestly, this really takes some getting used to I want, need all the support/feedback I can get from mothers like me. My 15 year old “came out ” recently-so, is now openly gay/bisexual. I was shocked/stunned at first. Now, I talk with him, thik I will eventually accept it . I love hm. I”ve gotten a lot of help from this blog and pflag-New Orelans-Louisiana.
He told me he’d known or kind of known he was gay since he was 12. I had no idea honestly, this really takes some getting used to
I want, need all the support/feedback I can get from mothers like me.

]]> By: Judy http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-69590 Judy Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:54:45 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-69590 I have both a son and daughter who are gay. They are wonderful human beings who I love dearly. I did not know that either were gay before they came out and it was an adjustment, but that is all. To Net who is establishing dating rules for her daughter who is a lesbian, and making the rules the same as she would if her daughter were straight, while I am no expert, I feel that is a wonderful way to handle it. If anyone wants to talk, feel free to email me at mac10076@aol.com. I have both a son and daughter who are gay. They are wonderful human beings who I love dearly.

I did not know that either were gay before they came out and it was an adjustment, but that is all.

To Net who is establishing dating rules for her daughter who is a lesbian, and making the rules the same as she would if her daughter were straight, while I am no expert, I feel that is a wonderful way to handle it.

If anyone wants to talk, feel free to email me at mac10076@aol.com.

]]> By: Michael http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-69405 Michael Thu, 12 Jan 2012 17:14:23 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-69405 I came out to my parents 35 years ago. After some hard times with them my mother finally accepted it. My father never did. Too bad she passed in 1997. My father completely shut me out; after an unannounced visit I made to his house for Christmas after my mother passed I was told I wasn't invited there and he threw me out. Years later I got cancer...not even a get well card. Nothing. He just passed recently and I discover not only was I disinherited because of 'my lifestyle'; yes, written that way in the will, I find out my brother, spouse and their children have been 'gifted' 10K each a year since my mother passed, all quietly and secretively. My sister, husband and child got 'some'. Nowhere near what the 'golden child' received. Not only did I believe I had a good relationship with my brother and sister, I invited the families on many vacations over the years, with never any invites for the same from them. I am not only devastated by this knowledge, I have had to seek help from a psychiatrist due to the inability to sleep. I am now on Ambian, Wellbutrin and Celexa. I am now concerned because i'm having suicidal thoughts... How can all this be happening? My dear partner is at wits end with me and the entire situation. I should also mention I just discovered my father was a narcissist. One of the worst personality disorders... I suppose this revelation should help me with my understanding of all this but I am a mess anyway. How can my siblings have done this to me? I have lived in Florida for 30 years and everyone else is in Connecticut....perhaps the distance has made the deception easier. I came out to my parents 35 years ago. After some hard times with
them my mother finally accepted it.
My father never did. Too bad she passed in 1997. My father completely shut me out; after an unannounced visit I made to his house for Christmas after my mother passed I was told I wasn’t invited there and he threw me out.
Years later I got cancer…not even a get well card.
Nothing.
He just passed recently and I discover not only was I disinherited because of ‘my lifestyle’; yes, written that way in the will, I find out my brother, spouse and their children have been ‘gifted’ 10K each a year since my mother passed, all quietly and secretively. My sister, husband and child got ‘some’. Nowhere near what the ‘golden child’ received.
Not only did I believe I had a good relationship with my brother and sister, I invited the families on many vacations over the years, with never any invites for the same from them.
I am not only devastated by this knowledge, I have had to seek help from a psychiatrist due to the inability to sleep.
I am now on Ambian, Wellbutrin and Celexa.
I am now concerned because i’m having suicidal thoughts…
How can all this be happening?
My dear partner is at wits end with me and the entire situation.
I should also mention I just discovered my father was a narcissist.
One of the worst personality disorders…
I suppose this revelation should help me with my understanding of all this but I am a mess anyway.
How can my siblings have done this to me?
I have lived in Florida for 30 years and everyone else is in Connecticut….perhaps the distance has made the deception easier.

]]> By: Michael http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-69404 Michael Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:55:53 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-69404 I came out to my parents 35 years ago. After some hard times with them my mother finally accepted it. My father never did. Too bad she passed in 1997. My father completely shut me out; after an unannounced visit I made to his house for Christmas after my mother passed I was told I wasn't invited there and he threw me out. Years later I got cancer...not even a get well card. Nothing. He just passed recently and I discover not only was I disinherited because of 'my lifestyle'; yes, written that way in the will, I find out my siblings, spouses and their children have been 'gifted' 10K each a year since my mother passed, all quietly and secretively. Not only did I believe I had a good relationship with my brother and sister, I invited the families on many vacations over the years, with never any invites for the same from them. I came out to my parents 35 years ago. After some hard times with
them my mother finally accepted it.
My father never did. Too bad she passed in 1997. My father completely shut me out; after an unannounced visit I made to his house for Christmas after my mother passed I was told I wasn’t invited there and he threw me out.
Years later I got cancer…not even a get well card.
Nothing.
He just passed recently and I discover not only was I disinherited because of ‘my lifestyle’; yes, written that way in the will, I find out my siblings, spouses and their children have been ‘gifted’ 10K each a year since my mother passed, all quietly and secretively. Not only did I believe I had a good relationship with my brother and sister, I invited the families on many vacations over the years, with never any invites for the same from them.

]]> By: raaz http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-69091 raaz Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:00:27 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-69091 Hello, everyone i read someone's blog......it is very nice....I'm a gay 24 years old.......but Unfortunately i birth In homophobic country where has no Gay rights even 10 years prison or death penalty still here. i can not share about my sexuality easily with my parents. Although My parents guessing about my sexuality.I wish if i got one nice gay parents! Hello, everyone i read someone’s blog……it is very nice….I’m a gay 24 years old…….but Unfortunately i birth In homophobic country where has no Gay rights even 10 years prison or death penalty still here. i can not share about my sexuality easily with my parents. Although My parents guessing about my sexuality.I wish if i got one nice gay parents!

]]> By: darlene http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-67071 darlene Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:48:12 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-67071 My son just told me a week before Christmas he has been seeing somebody "special" . Dummy me didn't have a clue. Then He tells me his name is...... and he is encouraging me to be a better person has houses in tx & fl. he is buying me a car ,paying for my insurance etc. When I asked how old he was he told me 49. FOR REAL?! My son is 23. I can deal with him being gay or bisexual but I have bells sirens & whistles going off telling me this could be BIG trouble. What do I do. How do I accept that? I am devastated. I am just lost and have no where to turn. My parents & siblings will have issues with the entire situation. My son just told me a week before Christmas he has been seeing somebody “special” . Dummy me didn’t have a clue. Then He tells me his name is…… and he is encouraging me to be a better person has houses in tx & fl. he is buying me a car ,paying for my insurance etc. When I asked how old he was he told me 49. FOR REAL?! My son is 23. I can deal with him being gay or bisexual but I have bells sirens & whistles going off telling me this could be BIG trouble. What do I do. How do I accept that? I am devastated. I am just lost and have no where to turn. My parents & siblings will have issues with the entire situation.

]]> By: Family Assistance Child Support http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/gay-son-concerns/comment-page-1#comment-56002 Family Assistance Child Support Sat, 08 Oct 2011 01:45:09 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/?p=54#comment-56002 I'm so sorry to hear that you are stuck between your husband and your son. It's not a descision a mother should have to make. I am of the opinion that your husband should get with the times and honour your son no matter his preference. I’m so sorry to hear that you are stuck between your husband and your son. It’s not a descision a mother should have to make. I am of the opinion that your husband should get with the times and honour your son no matter his preference.

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