Comments on: Distressed Mom Of Gay Son http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son Help For Parents Of Gay Children Sat, 17 Jul 2010 12:22:22 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jenifer Maron http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-5757 Jenifer Maron Sat, 27 Mar 2010 22:00:08 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-5757 I just found your site through google. Love the info! I just found your site through google. Love the info!

]]> By: Linda http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-5145 Linda Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:23:20 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-5145 Pam, my heart goes out to you. I have been depressed myself. Both of my kids are gay, but since my son started cross dressing I have been having a particularily hard time. I think it is a bit of a greiving process for sure, although I do appreciate they are alive and well. Unfortunately I do also worry about their safety. To the lady who said she was sad she wasnt getting grandchildren, yes! I concur!!! However heterosexuality doesnt guarantee these days that they will produce grandchildren for you anyway!! ( My older sister has two hetero kids in their 30's , both married, neither one has kids!) Anyway, hang in there. I am........trying hard! Pam, my heart goes out to you.

I have been depressed myself. Both of my kids are gay, but since my son started cross dressing I have been having a particularily hard time. I think it is a bit of a greiving process for sure, although I do appreciate they are alive and well. Unfortunately I do also worry about their safety.

To the lady who said she was sad she wasnt getting grandchildren, yes! I concur!!! However heterosexuality doesnt guarantee these days that they will produce grandchildren for you anyway!! ( My older sister has two hetero kids in their 30’s , both married, neither one has kids!)

Anyway, hang in there. I am……..trying hard!

]]> By: Nancy http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4539 Nancy Sun, 20 Dec 2009 01:08:59 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4539 We recently found my 16 year old son texting men from a gay site. Apparently this has been something that has been going on for some time. After my husband and I confronted him, he did come out and tell us that he knows he is different from the other boys in school and that he feels he is gay. Of course, we do not want to believe any of this and we have seeked help with a counselor. He is our son and we love him and we will never stop being his parents, but if anyone could give me some insight on how to deal with all the emotions we are feeling and how to guide him in the right direction. I want him to get through high school without having the stigma of being gay. I can't get rid of this terrible feeling of being so scared for him. Anyone that could help us I would really appreciate it. We recently found my 16 year old son texting men from a gay site. Apparently this has been something that has been going on for some time. After my husband and I confronted him, he did come out and tell us that he knows he is different from the other boys in school and that he feels he is gay. Of course, we do not want to believe any of this and we have seeked help with a counselor. He is our son and we love him and we will never stop being his parents, but if anyone could give me some insight on how to deal with all the emotions we are feeling and how to guide him in the right direction. I want him to get through high school without having the stigma of being gay. I can’t get rid of this terrible feeling of being so scared for him. Anyone that could help us I would really appreciate it.

]]> By: Leslie Nelson http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4358 Leslie Nelson Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:45:54 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4358 My husband and I just found out our 21 year old son is gay. He said he has known since 8th grade. He suffered with severe stomach problems missing alot of junior high and we took him to many doctors trying to find our what the problem was. We never realized it had to do with the stress he was feeling about being different. He is the youngest of three boys and was the easiest child to raise. He always spent his time around girls rather than boys and as he got older we would wonder if he might be gay. We never questioned it as we knew even if he was that our love for him would remain unconditional and it would not change who he was which is a wonderful young man. Even knowing our love for him will never change we are feeling so many different emotions and I knew I needed some support for this.I was happy to find this web page. I am concerned that he is naive enough that someone will take advantage of him and I can not stand the thought of him being hurt. We are going to see him over the holidays and want to have him feel comfortable enough to talk about this. We also want him to know the things that can happen with gay relationships and to be very careful. I hope I am explaining myself correctly as I am still in shock with the news. Leslie My husband and I just found out our 21 year old son is gay. He said he has known since 8th grade. He suffered with severe stomach problems missing alot of junior high and we took him to many doctors trying to find our what the problem was. We never realized it had to do with the stress he was feeling about being different.
He is the youngest of three boys and was the easiest child to raise. He always spent his time around girls rather than boys and as he got older we would wonder if he might be gay. We never questioned it as we knew even if he was that our love for him would remain unconditional and it would not change who he was which is a wonderful young man. Even knowing our love for him will never change we are feeling so many different emotions and I knew I needed some support for this.I was happy to find this web page. I am concerned that he is naive enough that someone will take advantage of him and I can not stand the thought of him being hurt. We are going to see him over the holidays and want to have him feel comfortable enough to talk about this. We also want him to know the things that can happen with gay relationships and to be very careful. I hope I am explaining myself correctly as I am still in shock with the news. Leslie

]]> By: Mom in Vancouver http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4024 Mom in Vancouver Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:31:32 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4024 Derek, thank you for all of your comments. I am happy to see you are getting your life and your feelings in order. All the best to you son! Derek, thank you for all of your comments. I am happy to see you are getting your life and your feelings in order. All the best to you son!

]]> By: Mom in Vancouver http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4023 Mom in Vancouver Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:22:31 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4023 First and foremost I'd like to thank you all for posting your stories. It helps to see there are people like me who struggle with the concept my son could be gay. I have 3 sons, and for years I always suspected one was gay. Ironically he is the best looking kid in the crowd, getting lots of female attention. He is so hot he could have any girl he wanted. However... he could never stick to a girl no matter how hard he tried. And he tried... he was in love... We are a straight family (no dad) and we are sporty, happy, 'gay jokes' are common in our household. If he was to come out my family will have a problem accepting it. Me... raised in a very religious protestant environment I used to believe gay was sin, I no longer do. I love my son and will always support him. Gay or straight. Recently I noticed he is withdrawn, can't find his place in this world and keeps talking about leaving it all and moving away to another country. I do understand this is just an 'effect' and I suspect the 'cause' is his unhappiness and a fear he can be rejected if he comes out. He has been getting into major fights lately, bloody ones. He is very strong and he never shies away from a fight. Recently he instigates them and I suspect this is a result of years of suppressed feelings. I am 75% sure he is gay, the thought is eating him alive and this is why he's getting like that. Anyone with a similar story or advice? Thank you in advance. First and foremost I’d like to thank you all for posting your stories. It helps to see there are people like me who struggle with the concept my son could be gay.

I have 3 sons, and for years I always suspected one was gay. Ironically he is the best looking kid in the crowd, getting lots of female attention. He is so hot he could have any girl he wanted. However… he could never stick to a girl no matter how hard he tried. And he tried… he was in love…

We are a straight family (no dad) and we are sporty, happy, ‘gay jokes’ are common in our household. If he was to come out my family will have a problem accepting it.

Me… raised in a very religious protestant environment I used to believe gay was sin, I no longer do. I love my son and will always support him. Gay or straight.

Recently I noticed he is withdrawn, can’t find his place in this world and keeps talking about leaving it all and moving away to another country. I do understand this is just an ‘effect’ and I suspect the ’cause’ is his unhappiness and a fear he can be rejected if he comes out. He has been getting into major fights lately, bloody ones. He is very strong and he never shies away from a fight. Recently he instigates them and I suspect this is a result of years of suppressed feelings. I am 75% sure he is gay, the thought is eating him alive and this is why he’s getting like that.

Anyone with a similar story or advice? Thank you in advance.

]]> By: mary http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4003 mary Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:35:21 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4003 My 18 year old son recently told us he is gay. While we have all the mixed emotions everyone has listed we are supportive of him. That isn't the problem. The problem is he has found a "friend" on a on-line web site for gay men and he is 48 years old. That is a problem. This person constantly calls, texts and as recently as last night our son was on the phone until 2 AM because I think they had a fight. We have told our son that we do not believe a relationship with a 48 year old is appropriate and don't approve. He says he likes older men and we don't understand. We are trying to be as supportive as possible but this situation is interfering with his school work, social life, etc. This man previously was going to visit over Labor Day but now wants our son to visit him in Canada - HELP!!! My 18 year old son recently told us he is gay. While we have all the mixed emotions everyone has listed we are supportive of him. That isn’t the problem. The problem is he has found a “friend” on a on-line web site for gay men and he is 48 years old. That is a problem. This person constantly calls, texts and as recently as last night our son was on the phone until 2 AM because I think they had a fight.

We have told our son that we do not believe a relationship with a 48 year old is appropriate and don’t approve. He says he likes older men and we don’t understand.

We are trying to be as supportive as possible but this situation is interfering with his school work, social life, etc. This man previously was going to visit over Labor Day but now wants our son to visit him in Canada – HELP!!!

]]> By: Mary Ann http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-4000 Mary Ann Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:24:51 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-4000 Thanks to who ever you are that wrote to Me( Mary Ann) I did recently see that movie and it was so good to know that all my beginning feelings are normal I am comming along and learning everyday ny son feels so comfortable in his own skin and says he is fine I hope he really is he leaves for college soon and hope he is safe and finds his way Thanks again and keep us in your prayers Thanks to who ever you are that wrote to Me( Mary Ann) I did recently see that movie and it was so good to know that all my beginning feelings are normal I am comming along and learning everyday ny son feels so comfortable in his own skin and says he is fine I hope he really is he leaves for college soon and hope he is safe and finds his way Thanks again and keep us in your prayers

]]> By: Derek http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-3808 Derek Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:18:44 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-3808 I haven't been on in a while and feel really bad for not keeping up. First, I want to speak on Elaine's situation: I have thought about this a lot and come to the conclusion that the reason your son is showing this disrespect, and I say this out of empathy for I have been in a close situation, is because he has finally found people like him... in the gay sense. And since he has found people that have a common interest with him, he wants to be just like them and join them in their ways. It's not necessarily because he's gay. At least I don't think it is. My second is for Hunter: The best answer I can come up with is that you at least should wait until you're 18 to tell them if you really feel the need to tell them. If they really will cut you off, wait until you can support yourself. Or you could always find an alternative living arrangement with a friend or relative. Once you move out on your own, if your parents don't love you for who you are, then there is nothing that you can do about it. Sometimes you have to move on. And every bit of advice that I give you is strictly at your disposal. If you disagree, then by all means follow your heart. I suppose it never hurts to try. And finally, there has been a development in my own story. The more that I mature, the more friends I make. I have tons of friends. Recently, at a local festival, one of my bisexual female friends introduced me to a gay guy from the town that I live in. The two of us go to different schools but only live about 5 miles apart. This guy is amazing and we have a lot in common, so we have been dating for a couple of months. He finally told his parents that he was gay. His dad is okay with it. But the mother is having problems accepting it. Riley, my boyfriend, has not told them that we are dating, because, at least in his words, "I respect your life Derek. You're not ready to die." He means it as a joke saying that his parents would probably hate me. His dad suspects that Riley and I are close, but he isn't 100% on it. I'm very happy. I feel much more mature and very proud of myself. One concern that I have is that the school I attend, which contains a very closed-minded sort of kids, minus a select few, and I have not told them about my sexuality. If I do, I fear they would make my senior year miserable. And I'm not willing to compromise what could be happy memories. I plan on being more open in college. I've noticed a lot of sadder stories so felt the need to share something positive. :) I haven’t been on in a while and feel really bad for not keeping up. First, I want to speak on Elaine’s situation:
I have thought about this a lot and come to the conclusion that the reason your son is showing this disrespect, and I say this out of empathy for I have been in a close situation, is because he has finally found people like him… in the gay sense. And since he has found people that have a common interest with him, he wants to be just like them and join them in their ways. It’s not necessarily because he’s gay. At least I don’t think it is.
My second is for Hunter:
The best answer I can come up with is that you at least should wait until you’re 18 to tell them if you really feel the need to tell them. If they really will cut you off, wait until you can support yourself. Or you could always find an alternative living arrangement with a friend or relative. Once you move out on your own, if your parents don’t love you for who you are, then there is nothing that you can do about it. Sometimes you have to move on. And every bit of advice that I give you is strictly at your disposal. If you disagree, then by all means follow your heart. I suppose it never hurts to try.

And finally, there has been a development in my own story. The more that I mature, the more friends I make. I have tons of friends. Recently, at a local festival, one of my bisexual female friends introduced me to a gay guy from the town that I live in. The two of us go to different schools but only live about 5 miles apart. This guy is amazing and we have a lot in common, so we have been dating for a couple of months. He finally told his parents that he was gay. His dad is okay with it. But the mother is having problems accepting it. Riley, my boyfriend, has not told them that we are dating, because, at least in his words, “I respect your life Derek. You’re not ready to die.” He means it as a joke saying that his parents would probably hate me. His dad suspects that Riley and I are close, but he isn’t 100% on it. I’m very happy. I feel much more mature and very proud of myself.
One concern that I have is that the school I attend, which contains a very closed-minded sort of kids, minus a select few, and I have not told them about my sexuality. If I do, I fear they would make my senior year miserable. And I’m not willing to compromise what could be happy memories. I plan on being more open in college.
I’ve noticed a lot of sadder stories so felt the need to share something positive. :)

]]> By: Huntet http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son/comment-page-1#comment-3688 Huntet Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:59:34 +0000 http://gayfamilysupport.com/blog/distressed-mom-of-gay-son#comment-3688 Hi I live in lower alabama and i am bisexual. I hav just recently come out to a few friends. I want to tell my parentS but they have already told me that if i was a gay or bi that they will kick me out. I Really want to tell them but cant. My dad said that i would be dead to him and that be would hate me. I really need help in this. Hi
I live in lower alabama and i am bisexual. I hav just recently come out to a few friends.
I want to tell my parentS but they have already told me that if i was a gay or bi that they will kick me out. I Really want to tell them but cant. My dad said that i would be dead to him and that be would hate me. I really need help in this.

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