I came out to my mom and my dad at the right time: “when they got to the point”. This is what everyone should do. Just try to keep things going until it’s unbearable to their peeps (aka when they start asking themselves “why my son doesn’t have a gf since he’s already old enough, fit, handsome, rich, intelligent, has a car, etc?”). Well when I came out it was pretty hard for them LATER, but at the moment (it was while my mom was driving her car, my dad was at her side) it felt like if she already knew.. this is the fact. Nobody can be so naive to the point of NEVER THINKING ABOUT THAT, even if they say so.

Now what you gotta do is: keep your life going, till you get your own freedom, that is when you start working and paying your bills. Then you will not have to take your parent’s advices if you don’t want to. Till then, you’ll have to understand that you depend on them mainly financially. If you are successful and can meet someone you get along well, I am sure they will end up recognizing your choice of not living a frustration forever.

I am dating a guy right now for almost one year. We are fine, his mother discovered about him - that was not exactly fine - and she hated his ex. Well, what else can I say? He’s a nice intelligent cute guy, and something funny happened sometime ago when my mom still didn’t knew about me — she pointed out him on a picture in my album “hey, this guy here is so cute, what’s his name again?”. Somethings are meant to happen. Happiness is one of them, but that depends on you being strong enough to wait for it, to help it to happen. Acceptance is a choice, but respect is not. You DESERVE respect and love no matter if your peeps accept you or not.

Eventhough my mom knows my BF and get along very well with him (he’s really sweet) she hasn’t seen us “together”. So be careful. Sometimes even when people say it’s ok to be gay doesn’t mean they wanna see you doing your gay stuff.

Got it?

best wishes,

Gui

I was in the military for a great deal of my life when the military opposed homosexuality and would dishonourably discharge such personnel. The military also “brain-washed” their personnel to be hateful of homosexual people. I am so pleased that I have allowed my liberal outlook to overtake the teachings of my former employ.

Your children are your children, cherish every moment you have with them and be proud of them for who they are. It is not easy bringing up a child and if you have succeeded in getting them to adolescence and they have confided their secret to you - embrace them and make them aware of your love for them.

Read the news and see the parents who have to deal with the bereavement of losing their children through illness, war and many other reasons. How they would wish that their only concern was that their children were not heterosexual. Consider yourself lucky that you have children, they love you enough to confide with you and you have the ability to share the future with them.

I have no issues with my son being either homosexual or bisexual. He is fantastic and I love him. He is who he is because of what he is and I love it.

Be happy for your kids - no matter what.

I would like to commend everyone for being here, it shows that each of you are indeed seeking solutions to your situation.

I read a lot of the young teen, and pre-teen support sites, as I seek answers to questions I had in the late early 70’s, when I was in the shoes of a lot of the young people questioning their sexuality. For those in my age range, you know, when I was in this situation, it was a lot worse. We had no support at all, we had no internet, we had no support in school, not even the mental health community offered any support.

Anyway, through my journey, it seems that one equation repeats itself over, and over again, it is the quote I even see here; “How am I going to tell other people that my child is gay?” A valid concern of any parent, but a responsibility that is not a parents. your child, no matter what age, is the person that needs to make those decisions. They will know when the time is right, and when they will feel comfortable with others knowing.

It seems that children need to have the support of their families, before they seek the support of their friends, or other family members. With the support of their parents, they can feel comfortable in questioning these feelings. In my travels among the support groups, I have come to a PERSONAL opinion that I think the parents need to guide their children s decisions regarding sexual activity. Let your children explore their sexual orientation.

Being their to guide them in finding answers to their feelings, and finding the resources they need to answer their questions will play a great role in them becoming productive members of society, and being a good person, and understanding that we are all different. Your good parenting will let them know that accepting people for who they are, and not what they are will enrich all of our lives.

So, let them lean on you when they need it, let them make the decisions that you seem to be fretting concerning who will know, when they will know, and who will tell them. As parents, you have to devote your time to you child’s mindset, worrying will none of us any good.

Good luck everyone, I hope this may have helped at least one of you.

Happy Holidays everyone….

Kyle

Thanks so much for your ear. I think it was nice just to vent. My foster parents said I shouldn’t even tell her yet. They said I should wait until I get a relationship, considering that I don’t know who I’ll end up with because I’m bisexual. They said if I end up with a guy as a pertner, then when the time comes, I should tell them. I don’t know. Part of me really wants to tell her though. Just to unburden myself. Just to get it out of the way. I often show affection towards my mom in public considering thats usually when I see her. Thank you for your advice again. You have no idea how greatful I am!

~Derek

It is so sad to see how mixed up humanity is.!

You have explained you fear and terror so well.

Why is the religious not more compromising since the baptism of fire, when they got recognition?

Sex can be enjoyable and relaxing with mental harmony in moderation,

Then if the Creator of all Creatures did create us all.Why then did he construct us with our sex organ orifice using the same deliverence as the waste of our food and drink from our bodies. Could he not have given us a special finger or an attachment to our tongue to do the requirements for pro-creation ; love relaxation and enjoyment ?.

Whilst sex is enjoyable and relaxing and health giving in moderation, it is not a nice thought when one considers their ordinary bodily functions associated therewith; therefore it is sad for all creatures and we should think more and learn to enjoy our lives more and keeping free from injury and disease, to ourselves and all others who associate with us generally. bye now from an older person

I am working out with my son who to tell when. I have told several of my friends and coworkers with very good results, all of his friends know, and his brother. I am holding back on some people because he has yet to tell his father and I don’t think it’s right for his dad to hear it through the grapevine. Although my ex does live far away, so there is not a big likelihood he would run into someone, who would actually mention it, but you just never know, and I understand my son needs to be ready emotionally to take that step. I am attending a local PFLAG meeting for parents and loved ones of gay children, and others I think, anyway, you should look for a chapter and call them, they are wonderfully supportive and will help you.

Regarding your divorce, I hope it is as painless as possible. Bad things happen to good people and while you cannot control what happens to you, you do control how you handle it. Be a class act and you will never have a regret.

Take care Pam and hug that son for me.