I am a 26 year old lesbian.  I have been out to myself since college, and have been out to my parents for about two years.  I was always a tomboy and loved sports - but you would never guess by looking at me that I’m gay.  I have many gay friends - some with short hair who are more masculine- but I have a lot of beautiful gay friends who nobody would guess.  I think that there are a lot of feminine women are don’t think they can be gay, because they aren’t butch or masculine.  My girlfriend of two years loves purses and jewelry, and doesn’t know anything about sports. I think that is why males who are gay in athletics have such a struggle.
I hope all types of men and women can come out and be who they are - regardless of what they look like.  Being gay is not something to be ashamed of.  I’m proud to be a role model.

Many of you will have seen or heard of the gay pride flag.  It is a flag that is made up of rainbow colors and represents gay pride.  It probably is the most common and most popular of all gay pride merchandise.  The rainbow colors consist of red, orange, yellow, green, royal blue and violet.

Of course these rainbow colors are not only used in flags but also in stickers, ribbons, jewelry, bags, clothing and so much more.  The rainbow flag is not the only symbol that is used to represent gay pride. There is also the pink triangle that originated during the nazi invasion in WWII along with other relevant symbols.

As many more people are coming out these days there is also a rise in gay recognition and one of the best ways to show positive recognition is to display gay pride merchandise in some way.

This can be by having a rainbow sticker on your car or wearing a rainbow band on your wrist or having a rainbow flag outside your shop. To find this type of merchandise can be a little hard for many people especially if they do not know where the gay areas are.

So I have added a gay pride store to my site to make it easy for people to find just about anything and everything that represents gay pride all at one place. Take a look around the store and you will be surprised with the variety that is available.

It all started as early as I could remember. Around age 5, I was greatly fascinated with my older sister’s dolls and toys. I even remember asking my mom to paint my fingers with nail polish, just like my sister. Oddly enough, my mom never thought of it as “weird” or “strange” for a boy to be interested in such feminine things.

Growing up in a strict, Catholic household wasn’t an easy feat; especially for a gay boy. Skipping past my molestation incident when I was 7 years old, my first instincts of not being a normal boy occurred around age 9. Yes, I was attending a small, private Catholic school with only 20 or so students per class. In the fourth grade, I always felt different, not tough or well-liked by the other kids. I can’t explain why I felt alien all the time, I just did.

It wasn’t until I turned 10, when I had my first experience with another boy. I became very close friends with a peer, Trevor, who was also seen as “different.” Our friendship grew so quickly, that we were like brothers by the middle of the school year. A very long story short, we ended up kissing each other one night (a sleep over). After that year, I knew something was terribly wrong with me.

Starting middle school, I finally entered a public school environment. It was completely different in all aspects, with the teachers, rules, peers, lunches, everything. All of this was entirely new to me; sometimes I was too overwhelmed. I didn’t have a lot of friends and I wasn’t popular, and I wasn’t cool or big. As a late bloomer, I fought day and night with my inner feelings.

Most of my friends were “growing up,” getting bigger, taller, developed like men should be. It felt like I was lagging far behind everyone else. Multiple times I was mocked and teased for being so small and weak. I was already really sensitive to begin with, so these negative comments only added fuel to the flames of my insecurities.

Trying to fade out the nightmares from my molestation back when I was 7, the 9th grade was well underway. All of my friends (who were boys mind you) kept talking about girls. How they wanted to hug them, kiss them and be with them. My jaw dropped with awe. I couldn’t fathom what they were saying. Be with girls? Kissing girls? Hugging them? That sounded so wrong to me, and so vile. Something I could NEVER picture myself doing.

It was then when my friends started behaving oddly around me, or at least in my eyes they were acting differently. In fact, it was I who was the different one around them. Sometimes, I called my friend and invited him over, only to have him tell me, he was going on a date with a girl. This would get me so angry, asking myself, “Why would he want to hang out with a girl instead of me?”

While fighting these wrong feelings, my mother kept pestering me to find a girlfriend, or kept asking me “Which girls are cute in school?” I cringed at the thought of “cute girls” but I realized what I felt was wrong so I simply told my mom, “I haven’t seen any yet.” Deep down I knew I was different, well, I figured different now. Being a late bloomer, I told myself this was a phase I needed to bypass, and once I finally reach true puberty and become a man, I will find girls attractive.

At age 14, I still looked like a child, sounded like a child and was built like a child. The teasing in high school was even worse, especially from the seniors. The tall, intimidating seniors would blatantly march up to me and ask my age. When I answered, they would openly laugh in my face (a quick leap into the future, I didn’t reach puberty till about 16).

I felt so insecure while walking through the hallways of that school. Everyone, boys or girls, were bigger than I, more mature-looking than I, smarter, normal. Almost all of my friends now were obviously into the opposite gender, whether it was dating, holding hands in the hallways or talking on the phone with. Here I was, alone, confused, still waiting to find girls attractive. Again, I was still utterly convinced it was a phase because I was such a late bloomer.

It wasn’t until I saw a boy named Justin. He was in my grade, and he was in the music/band programs with me. I usually saw him everyday, before first block, in the hallway, next to the library doors. Most days, I’d find myself purposely taking the long way to my class to walk by Justin, just to see him. My stomach would twirl into dozens of threads when I saw his bright blonde hair and shiny blue eyes.

There was something about him, something I could never explain to myself, something I desperately desired. I remember during band, Justin was a woodwind player and sat towards the front, and as a percussionist, I had the entire back area of the music room to move around. There were times where I purposely inched my chair around, sliding back and forth, just so I could see him. He was a very popular boy, especially in the band clique. So I tried convincing myself, “I like Justin so much because I want to be his friend. Yeah, I just want to be his friend, so I can be popular too.” For over a year this is what I solely believed.

As time went on in my early years of high school, I found myself WANTING to please the other boys in anyway I could. If a boy asked me for a pencil, I jumped to attention and quickly handed him my best one. If a girl asked me, I shrugged and said, “Sorry, this is my only one.” I know that was sexist at the time, but I honestly had no idea I was doing that. Whenever the teacher lectured on and on, I drifted away into a fantasy of me and Justin. It didn’t matter what I was daydreaming about, Justin was in every single one.

High school was a mess in almost all ways possible. I got IBS due to my depression of the thought of being gay. So I missed a lot of school and was in extreme amounts of pain. I didn’t try real hard at school work, therefore my grades dwindled. Whenever I saw a cute boy, my body would shake without control and I loved and hated myself for it. Due to my insecurities about this issue, I was probably seen as the “social weirdo.” Even in junior and senior year, a few boys teased me for reasons unknown (maybe they knew, or was it because I was openly sensitive?). 

Anyway, I was consciously aware I was gay during senior year when my “girlfriend,” Amy, wanted to make out with me and have sex. We kissed on the lips a few times but it felt so odd and awkward. I felt nothing, no spark, nothing. Amy seemed to be enjoying it, but I wanted to leave. I don’t remember my excuse for not having sex with her that night; I think I told her, “I’m not ready.” She kept pushing me and pushing me to kiss or make out with her and I kept putting it off with the lamest excuses. I deeply hated myself for doing that to her, but I could never make out with her.

Our friendship died down when we went to college, going our “separate ways.” Even at 18, I was still overly sensitive about being gay, well the “possibility of being gay.” I first came out to my mom, solo, one day after school. I’ve been reading gay-help websites and stories about kids coming out and most of them were happy endings. So I prayed that my mom loved me enough to accept me. Well, things didn’t go so well.

She immediately went on a guilt trip, claiming it was her fault and that she failed as a parent. I was in tears and speechless after I told her those three words. She went on and on about how bad and vile being gay was. About how I’d get AIDS, live alone forever, never have a normal family, never have friends, be spat on and beaten, live in a secluded neighborhood, everything anti-gay, you name it. I went into complete system shock while she scolded me. Without thinking, I went “back in the closet” and assured her it was probably just a phase that I’ll get through.

The next day I was sent into therapy for social anxiety, when the real reason was to cure me. It took me a whole year to tell my therapist the true reason why I was there. Another long story short, I called my parents in with my therapist and “officially” came out to them. Let’s just say, my parents will NEVER accept it. They’re both die-hard, close-minded Catholics that believe what they see and what they want to see. Both of them still believe it’s a choice and that I chose to be gay to upset them. I assured them, it wasn’t my choice and that I tried literally everything to change that. That’s when my dad told me he would rather have me with cancer than be gay.

Afterwards, my parents claim they love me, but it doesn’t feel real to me. I’m basically NEVER allowed to mention it ever again, never bring home a partner and never behave or act like it. It’s almost like, I never told them I’m gay and I’m supposed to pretend I’m not. I’m pretty sure my parents went so far back into denial that my mom probably thinks I’m straight now. She keeps making, “What happened to you and Amy? You two would have had beautiful children,” remarks to me every now and then.

I went to meet a gay guy who works at a diner near my house and if my parents knew I was going there for THAT reason, they would most likely officially disown me or kick me out. He was a nice guy, but not really my type. He’s way out there and extremely flamboyant. I’m okay with that, but as an introverted gay guy, that’s not my style.
So here I am now, still struggling in school to achieve “my dreams.” Everyday feels messed up, more and more.

 I don’t know if I’ll go crazy one day and scream it at my parents, or if I’ll kill myself, I don’t know. My real dream is to become a father, to raise a son, so I can love him unconditionally, without stereotyping him, teasing him, pushing him, criticizing him, making him something he’s not. It doesn’t matter whether I’m with another man, or single.

To parents, never treat your children like their trash or a sin. You should love them unconditionally, no matter their sexual preference. Who cares if they love differently than you do? They’re not hurting anyone, and if you truly believe they’re hurting you, then you need to desperately rethink your philosophy of life. Majority of people believe what they see, not what’s real. They carry what they’re beliefs are onto their children and almost force it upon them. People need to open their mind to what’s outside their cave of comfort and see the real world. It would create so much more empathy in people and resolve so many conflicts going on in this messed up world.

Hello,My name’s Daniel
I live in Bulgaria(Europe) with my mother,little brother and grandmother..My dad works in another town(thank god)…. My mum has a hard time because dad doesn’t send money and her job pays bad…and she doesn’t need more troubles with finding out….about me….anyways…she has enough problems with me and thats why i am concerned and have a “short fuse” with anybody and…in short i changed 4 schools in 1 season and my grades are very low…but you probably want a story…

well i cannot tell you a masterpiece i can just tell you how the view of the world is through the eyes a 15 years old,teenage homosexual boy…well i’ll just get to the point…it is very hard..because not many boys share his…interests…and he is feeling alone and isolated…even with his parents support he is alone…he cannot tell other people even if he wants it very much because most people doesn’t understand difference and will probably make fun of him and even sometimes it gets to violence…

any  parent knowing of his son orientation should make his life be more comfortable…i mean…make him feel normal…not just saying “i understand you and etc.”…you should make him happy…maybe go out somewhere where he wants from a long time…or suggest camping with a neighbourhood family which has a son his age…he will be pleased trust me!

But no way,in no condition do not have a conversation with him about homosexual people..it will just upset him.It’s simple..homosexual people have more in touch with their emotional side…if you say “you are an idiot,i don’t know why i let you live here(or something from this sort)” he will be very upset although he doesn’t show it…he will probably lock up in his room and be devastated,sometimes even cry.

You see his interests  until the age of 15 are simple…just to talk with another boy but to be most open…to tell his feelings and what are his desires and etc..when he reaches the age of 14-15 (puberty) of course he would want to have some physical contact with a person from the same sex…maybe a kiss or to touch his face,chest and some other body parts.of course of the age of 15-16 he will have some sexual desires but gay boys that age are too afraid to have intimate relations with another boy…on the ago of 16-17 he is more willing and can control his body and acts like a normal boy and you can hardly notice he is homosexual..on the age of 18 and above his only intimate wish is to have a night alone with a boy..what they will do is a secret(i’m not that old LOL)…

A homosexual boy accepts everything with ease,because he understants difference.mostly they feel miserable until they find their “buddy”.
Also you should look for their relationship with their brother/sister..just because they are gay doesn’t mean their relations should be TRASH…try to keep the warm ..make family dinners or send them to both to do a “important job” or sent them to camping…their relations are very important because he is a child after all and he cannot share everything with elders…he needs someone his age that way he feels more…understood…well i have to go now training is calling..hope you read and reply…

Regards,Daniel
Bulgaria,Europe

PS:Sorry for the bad spelling and punctuation my formal language is Bulgarian…

Hi, I am the mother of a lesbian. I found out when my daughter was around 13 y/o. I found a letter between her and her girlfriend. I read it and it sounded like a boyfriend girlfriend letter. I didn’t confront her about it. I pretended I never found it. Then the other girls mother found out about the relationship and was furious. She called me. I acted like it was new news.

I had to discourage my daughter from seeing her girlfriend. Their relationship was also abusive. The girl would scream at my daughter on the phone. My daughter was cutting herself. I took her to a Psychologist and she was put on an antidepressant.
 
That was all a long time ago. My daughter is now almost 18. I had hopes that this was just a phase and that she would end up being heterosexual. The girlfriend ended up being heterosexual. My daughter is still on a antidepressant. I have told my daughter that I love her no matter what. I do wish this was not happening. I want her to have a normal life.

I do not condone her being gay but I do not treat her badly or am negative about it. She knows that if I could change things I would. We have a Christian home and my husband, not her father, is extremely religious. He doesn’t say anything to her about being gay. He does not approve though. I am not sure of my feelings.

If people are born gay which I am starting to believe then how can they be condemned for it. The religious stand point is that people may have gay desires but they need to not act on these desires and live a life of abstinence or become heterosexual. For me to think of my daughter being alone for the rest of her life kills me. I want her to be happy and have a loving long term relationship. So I struggle with all this.

My daughter is very bold. She got a rainbow tattoo. She puts rainbow stickers on her car. I wish she would not do this. I think it is better to keep this to herself and only tell those close to her.
I have only told a few people about this. Maybe I am ashamed. I don’t know. It just hurts a lot still. My daughter doesn’t seem to care who knows. I am starting counseling soon and hope to get help with all of this.

Maryann from USA

I don’t know about anyone else but I find it interesting that we as heterosexuals and I being one, think that there could be nothing other than heterosexuality.   I mean we think that once you have had sex with the opposite gender then wow, you would never consider being gay.

 I bring this up because I receive a lot of letters on my website GayFamilySupport and many of them  are from upset parents who have just found out their child is gay.  I use the term gay for all glb. 

These parents just as my husband and I at first often think that how could our precious children know they are gay if they haven’t had sex with the opposite gender.  Well I am here to tell you that they just do.

I know that I certainly did not need to have sex with a woman to know that I was definately straight.  I just new.  Don’t know why I new I just did.  And the funny thing is no one even asked why.

So why is it that we ask this stupid question to our gay children, as if they don’t have enough on their mind already?  Well we ask it because we don’t know any better.  We are terrified for our child and for ourselves and we will grab at anything we can in hope that our child will become normal again

Normal, what a strange word?  We could spend hours going on about that word.  So we are not going to.

If any of you people reading this are gay then please do not be too hard on us older folk for asking stupid questions like this.  Most of us do see the light at the end of the tunnel and do start acting much more maturely once we settle down and realise our beautiful children are still the same beautiful children they always were.  Some of us even trust their judgement and quite rightly so.

How many parents out there do not look forward to spending special occassions with their family because one or more of their children are gay?  They often do not feel like celebrating anything at all when they are obviously feeling crap.  They often do not want to face up to the fact that their family is some what different to most.

Well, let me tell you that it does not have to be this way.  We have been through the emotional rollercoaster of finding out you have a gay child and I can honestly tell you that it is really ok on the otherside.

We have just had a lovely couple of days celebrating Easter with our sons and their partners.  It is funny how the ‘gay thing’ doesn’t even come into the equation any more.

We are first and foremost people who belong together as a family and our sexuality comes in at a very slow second.  This to many of you out there may think will be an impossibility in your lives but that is far from the truth.

I believe we have control of our destiny to a certain degree and this also includes making decisions for our own happiness.  Yes, my husband and I made the decision to be happy and enjoy our life and our children no matter what.

And when you think about it, who wants to live life in tears all the time or with hatred in your heart?  Certainly not us, so we don’t.  Instead we have fun.  That includes celebrations such as Easter. 

We have had a lovely time and I hope that you did too and if you didn’t then there will always be next year.  Even if you have to work at it believe me it is worth it.  Because there is nothing like loving your family and being loved in return.

Not so long ago my husband, myself and our two sons and their partners were invited to a family wedding.  The bride and groom and close family were aware of my sons sexuality and invited his partner openly.  I say only one son as the bisexual son is engaged to a female and of course that is accepted.

Everything was going very well as my son and his partner are great people and are fun to be around.  When it came to the time where the bridal waltz happened and everyone was to join the married couple for a slow dance I began to feel uneasy.

My husband and I got up as did my youngest son and his fiance.  Just about everyone got up accept my eldest son and his male partner.  This saddened my husband and myself deeply.  I decided to get the boys up and dance with me.  This was a little uncomfortable and in the end my son just said this is silly and grabbed his partner and danced a slow close dance with him.

My husband and I were terribly proud of them as they danced together proudly and lovingly just like everyone else.  Now you may say so what.  But as I was feeling proud I was also on edge because as much as I wanted this to happen I was nervous as this wedding had a lot of religious people there.

There were some staring and some very shocked looks but in general most people didn’t take any notice.  I felt that even after 7 years of knowing my son was gay this was still a hurdle that we all jumped together successfully. 

So even for the best of us who seem to have everything under control there will still be times where we have to be brave and take a huge step.  I know that by doing what we did it helped everyone not just ourselves.  A little step like this is a huge step for gay people.