A Gay Poem To Make You Think
I was surfing the net the other day and found this poem. I do not know who the author is. It is a poem that really makes you think about how we judge and condemn people for being different. It tries to make you understand what it is like from the other side. Take the time to read and think about it.
Do you know what it is to be an outsider
on the other side of the fence?
How alone you would feel, if excluded you were.
Does it make any sense?
Can you imagine the isolated soul
with no-one in sight to hear
the cries and the tears that your heart would shed,
and the constant, looming fear?
Can you see in your mind the life of a man
without anywhere to belong?
Because a society judged him unworthy,
because they think they’re right, and he’s wrong.
Try and imagine the pain that you’d feel,
with sneers and hateful words, and spit at your heels.
What would it be like if the gates were locked;
you couldn’t get in, and you couldn’t get out?
Imagine the feeling that you’re worthless,
some dirt that’s been stepped on by someone’s uncaring shoe.
Perhaps at that point it’s too much for your heart,
and you take your own life, to stop it hurting you.
Imagine this world, for maybe a minute,
after that you can stop; you don’t like it, sure
but there are people who go through this every day,
and they can’t stop it, unless they’re no more.
So when you hear of hate, bigots and death,
don’t side with haters, cause that’s how you’ve been bred.
Imagine how it is, or was for that guy,
the one that’s hurt, or lying dead.
So imagine the feelings and memories too,
of people oppressed, hated, abused;
Of people who lived outside of that fence
and what they came to - does it make sense?
May 28th, 2007 at 1:20 am
I really want to join a support group online and would like some guidance on doing so. I have a 16 year old son who came out to me over a year ago. I felt honored that he was able to share this very difficult news with me and I am in total support. I love my son and accept the fact that he is gay….however now that he has a boyfriend, I am maybe a bit un-ready. I do not want him to be permiscuous (this may be a common misconception) but I do want to stress self respect and respect of others. He is most aware of STDs, condoms, etc, however I still feel the need to impress abstainance until he is ready to share something very special. Not sure if this is the right take on the whole situation and I need your input. PLEASE respond. My email is: catter1620@yahoo.com
thank you
Cathy Livingood,
Mother
May 28th, 2007 at 6:43 am
Hey Kathy
Congratulations for supporting your son. He is luckier than many others.
June 20th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
My 19 yeare old son just came out this past w/e. He told me this because he has a boyfriend in Ohio, we live in Oklahoma. I just reasured him that I love him for who he is no matter what. Now he wants to take a plane to Ohio and meet this guy. He has only talked to him on the internet. I don’t think this is a good idea. He doesn’t even know him, only through myspace. It sounds dangerous to me. I am really having a lot of mixed up feelings about this. My husband is an alcoholic, my son won’t tell his dad, for now at least. I am very confused and feel …..overwhelmed I guess, and taken by surprise by this…..I am not sure how I am supposed to feel. I do love my son, no matter what. Please give me some advise on this. I feel like my heart has been crushed I guess, I am not sure???
June 21st, 2007 at 8:56 am
Hey Bridget.
Firstly you are not alone with your emotional turmoil. It is one thing to find out that your son is gay but it is another to think he will be going off meeting someone off the net.
This in itself is scary.
Unfortunately for many gay people, they do not have the opportunity to meet other gay people as easily as straight people so they look to the internet. This is very common. I know that this does not make us as parents feel any better as we do worry about their safety but at least it helps us understand why they do it this way.
These kids have felt alone and isolated for so long that they then cling easily to others like themselves and they are desperate to find friendship or love. And in the beginning this seems the only way.
Debbie
June 22nd, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Last Week, my 16 year old son told me in a letter, that he was gay.I have been trying to process this news all by myself. My husband would not handle things correctly, I am sure, and therefore I have not shared this with him. Thank God, I had already been taking my son to a really good counselor before this was brought to my attention. He is going to the counselor because of ” social anxiety” and now I understand why!…… So many things make sense now but it still leaves me with so many more questions. I too, am worried about how to handle a relationship he has with another boy. He wants to spend all of his time with him and I have to wonder what they do together. I just try to remind myself of the same rules we had for his older sisters and stay in line with that…. I am sooo glad I found this website right away, and I am really going to need support in this transition time. I want so bad to protect him from all the dangers that this can bring into his life!! I know he is scared of what his sisters will think of him also. What if they are not loving in their responses?.. How do I handle people who will be cruel and thoughtless?….. so many worries in my head…….
July 9th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
as a gay young man myself,im still very much in termoil with my own sexuality…i had one gay relationship,i loved the fisical aspect of the relationship,but the guy is not 4 me..and i lack the support to help me through this.my parents wont understand and the friends that know,doesn’t care..i had a friend asking me whats the big deal in me not telling my parents?perhaps its the fact that i still struggle with coming 2 terms with my sexuality?
August 14th, 2007 at 1:28 am
Cathy,
I am in a similar situation in that I recently discovered that a family member was gay.Need someone to talk to about it. Feeling alone and scared
August 20th, 2007 at 3:17 am
I was just told by one of my son’s closest friends that my 35 yr old son is possibly gay or at least bisexual. This came as a huge shock - it also answers a lot of questions that have never seemed to have explanations. I will love him no matter what his sexual preference is, but I don’t think he knows that. My son was raised under a legalistic church doctrine that was not tolerant. His father was very judgmental and critical. My son is angry, depressed and is an alcoholic; he nearly died of alcohol poisoning recently. Now I understand so many things that didn’t make sense two days ago.
PLEASE, I NEED ADVICE. I need feedback on how to handle this information. I think my son has tried to get the courage to tell me himself several times but changed his mind because he didn’t think I would be a safe person - and at the time I may not have been. I am hurting so badly to think of the pain he has been dealing with for years.
What should I do? I know, most importantly, I need to assure him I will always love him no matter what. Should I ask him if he is gay? . . should I bring up the subject and give him the chance to tell me? . . should I say nothing and just begin to work on our relationship and see what happens? . . or . . what? If anyone would be willing to offer suggestions, I would appreciate it so much.
mom
August 20th, 2007 at 6:04 am
Ask him if he is gay! Tell him you will not judge him and that you will stand by him and you love him. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
August 21st, 2007 at 3:30 am
Thanks Anonymous -
My nature is to lay the cards on out the table, but I didn’t want to put pressure on my son in case he is not ready to or comfortable about answering the question. I guess I will be able to tell when the timing is right.
I appreciate your immediate response.
mom
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I am struggling to deal with with my child’s sexuality. It can be so hard, especially with all the prejudice out there.To all those parents out there, I just want to say it is so good to know I’m not alone and that with the support of others we can all be strong and supportive for our beautiful and precious children.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:45 am
anonymous,
Sounds like you and I may be in similar situations. Have you found someone to talk to about your child’s sexuality? How did you find out? How old is he/she? Is he/she open to talking with you about this? Are you single/married, have other children/family?
I haven’t seen my son since I found out he may be gay. It is difficult to get ahold of him and nearly impossible to talk with him alone - his wife is usually around. The only person I have been able to discuss this with is my husband (not my son’s father) who, thankfully, is extremely supportive.
You mentioned above that you were feeling alone and scared - I am struggling with all this too. I get this pit in my stomach when I think about all the implications of the whole situation, all of which would talke pages to even touch on. I want to talk to someone but yet I don’t want to tell anyone local until I hear the facts straight from my son and not someone else.
How have you coped so far? I almost don’t know where to start. I have searched the Internet for information, which has helped some. I guess I really want to have some alone time with my son and get some answers, if he is willing to talk about it. I’m gathering from other people who have posted, though, that I’ll probably end up with even more questions.
Looking forward to hearing from anyone -
mom
October 6th, 2007 at 5:26 am
Thank you for sharing!
November 12th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
I am not a mother, but I am part of a support group at my high school. I am 16 and straight, but I belong to my school’s Gay Straight Alliance. I have to say that all of your children (people who have left comments) and so lucky to have parents like you. That is one of the biggest and most talked about problems during our meetings, and it really takes a heavy toll on a teenager that feels they cannot tell their parents, or already have and are being shunned for it. If anyone ever wants to talk, my email is tmclark8@myway.com
May 6th, 2008 at 12:39 am
I just accidentally found a picture of my brother with his boyfriend (they were holding hands). I am so shocked. He is 25 and I see that he is out of the closet with all his friends!! I can’t beleive that he would be going around town with his boyfriend without telling his family first. I am so shocked and I can’t imagine what my very old-fashioned parents will think. At this point, they will probably find out through someone else and I can’t even begin to imagine how they will react. I am so worried.