Supporting Families With Gay Children
Welcome to my new blog. I am a mother who has a gay son and a bisexual son. My website GayFamilySupport is full of relevant information to help all you parents out there come to terms with having a loved one who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.
I will be adding posts that I believe will be of interest to families in this situation. They may be news related, poems, general information, answers to questions and so on. The most important thing I would like to put across is that it is not the end of the world to have a gay child, in fact it is enriching. I know I am a better person for it.
I have met so many lovely people and I have had so much fun on this journey. I also have met some very sad people who have had a terrible time coping with their sexuality and their families.  Homophobia is rife in this world but with saying that there are also many, many people who are also very supportive. So not all is bad!
I am pleased to have found this site. I am a mom of 3 boys, twins Mark and Carl who are 21 and Eric who is 17. Mark and Carl are very different from one another, one is gay and one is straight so you can imagine the hurdles on that. Since the age of 5yrs I knew in my heart my son was gay. Sadly school was hard on him especially middle years. It is hard enough with all the indifferences we have growing up and then to be even more different makes it worse. My son suffered with ridicule and teasing to the point where I had to make a stand..I had a meeting with the school board and principle and parents and explained as an adult we don’t have to take sexual harassment so why should my son? I was ready to start pressing charges because my son has every much that right as I do…thank goodness they stepped in and it decreased. I came to my son at age 17 and asked are you gay? He replied yes and I could see the relief that was lifted off of him. I explained I had always known and wanted to wait til he was ready to tell me…his biggest concern was our family members of course and I said thats easy whomever cannot accept will not be a part of our lives. I know this sounds very cut and dry but my children our my world and thats final. The reason I came to this site was from the advice from a lovely young lady my husband and I met at the gay club recently and yes both my husband and I go to the gay bar with our son and his boyfriend on a regular basis and what a blast we have. She said we can be a voice to other parents and children in this situation. It saddens me to see how many of my son’s friends who come to us wishing both or even one parent would accept them and their choices the way we do. I truly wish folks would just open their eyes and see what wonderful things our children have to offer no matter what their preference is.
Trish, oh my goodness! i am sorry for sounding off right now, but i have sort of the same thing going on. i have 5 children, 2 girls and 3 boys. just last night my 7 year old son told me that he likes boys. now, i have known for many years that he is different and never really could put my finger on it… my husband and a couple of other people i consider very close to me, all think that i am crazy and he is to little to know what he is talking about! i, for one believe him and want to be prepared for the obstacles that we can face in the near future. i also want to be here for my son as his support in whatever decision that he makes for his life. weather it be him holding it in throughout his childhood to avoid the bologna that comes along with a closed minded community or coming out with it and being ready to fight the stereotypical minds of the world.im honestly scared for him and dont even know where to start from here. im very happy i found this site, because i am able to see what other parents and gay and lesbian individuals are saying and get support as well. anyone who reads this, please feel free to email me at nicole.herbig@yahoo.com with any advise you may have for my situation. it will be greatly appreciated.
i have just found your blog, and i am so glad i did,
i have just had the worst year of my life! i have two daughters, one 13 and one 18. they are like chalk and cheese. my eldest has lived in jeans her whole life and never wears make up and hates anything “girly” last year she spoke to my friend about her “maybe” being gay and she was terrified at the thought of telling me? i have no idea why i have loads of gay friends and she knows that i am not in the slightest “phobic” but anyway i have told her many times that i would be fine if she came out. the problem is she has been a regular church goer since she was 5, me and her dad are seperated and neither of us go, but its what she wanted and we supported her, she has recently been “told” i dont know who by i think it might be a friend from church that if she came out she couldnt go back, chelsea is so confused, shes never had a boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter so i dont know what to do, we constantly row over the tiniest things. she gets herself into the middle of stuff with her college friends, and then runs to me for help, its as if she confused. shes now going to “christian” counselling which i dont think is a good idea but i have supported her, she has a lot of friends in the church and she a very commited christian so i dont know how to help??? any ideas cos i am at my wits end. x
I am so extremel grateful to have found this site/blog. I read all the entries, stories,I love them all; I read them all like a sponge.
I guess you would say I am a “newbie” and a closeted parent. My son who is 15, nearly 16 came out abut a month ago. It was not voluntary-it was done through facebook. He never intended, meant for me to know. I was shocked, stunned when I saw his fb staus, page, later confronted him.
I also of course told his fatehr who is my ex-husband. He, I think is still hoping my son’s beign gay is a passing phase.
I only coped the first week or two with help fro my bf, other friends. I also have done a lot of research, reading on gay teens, gay, pglad, everything I coudl/can get my hands on. I didn’t know how t treat my son at first, what do make of it. I am still not sure. I know I need to grieve for what feel like is our , my lost ideals of him,his life as I did, my ex/I envisioned a lifve for my son.
Since he has become totally open, freer at home, at school-actually we get along better than before, before he was hiding “himself”. that part is great. I still have a lot of concerns, worries for his life.
Also, I feel very isolated-know of no one else in my area, no o one else with this istuation. I lvie ina a small town in Louisana, go to a close nit catholic church, so does he and he goes to a small preivate Catholic school.
Looking for support, looking for asnewrs, looking fo rother parens